Hitting The Links: 7/13/25
My father died on Thursday, so I wrote about that but I still also offer a bunch of links and a pic of Birdy, so.
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The Rabbi Took Cash
My dad died on Thursday morning and was buried on Friday. My brother & I were beside him in his last moments, trying to hold his hands through the mesh & padding mittens the staff had to put on him; in his final delirium in the ICU room, he kept trying to pull out his IVs and monitor leads.
Once it was all over, and we were alone with him again, I cried on my knees at his bedside. While my brother read psalms over him, I got out my sketchpad to make a final drawing of Dad, confident that this time he wouldn’t move before I was done.
I went out to take a business call 75 minutes later, which one of the parties had tried to talk me out of, while the others had no idea what had happened until I informed them at the end, at which point they freaked out and offered condolences, and then I returned to the ICU, where Dad’s wife had joined us. She’d been at the hospital with him until they sent her home at 6am, and thankfully wasn’t there for the end.
We quickly settled funeral arrangements and I then had to race from the hospital to a memorial park to scout out & buy a plot for them, while my brother lined up a rabbi who was available for the next day.
There were religious and travel-based reasons we held the funeral so quickly, but I think that was for the best. Dad’s brother flew up from Florida to join us for the funeral, as did some friends who could accommodate such short notice. I’ll share my eulogy with you for next week’s episode.
I’m aware of my sadness, but I haven’t cried since the ICU. There have been moments where the loss has just struck me like a blow to my stomach, leaving me breathless. At their house yesterday to move some stuff, I found myself just sitting on the floor and feeling his absence. The evening after his funeral, after I took Birdy out for walkies, I went back outside, sat on a big rock in the backyard and just watched the fireflies dance on the edge of the woods for a while.
I don’t know why I haven’t cried more, but I have a 4-hour solo drive today and a hotel stay tonight where I imagine I’m going to find out.
Birdy Of The Week
Amy took this one.
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And now, let’s hit the links!
Links & Such
Recent Virtual Memories Show podcasts: Rachel Cockerell • Paul Karasik • Kate Maruyama • David Denby • Peter Stothard • Cecile Wajsbrot • Keiler Roberts
RIP John Martin (founder of Black Sparrow Press, guy who discovered Charles Bukowski) . . . RIP Anna Mae Robertson . . . RIP Fanny Howe . . . RIP Mark Snow . . . RIP Nina Kuscsik . . . RIP Brian Clarke . . .
Also, David Gergen died.
I don’t care for superhero movies, but I’ll see the new Superman at some point solely because it has Krypto the Super-Dog in it.
Rufus T. Firefly-El, the Super Dog • Photo by Amy Roth, 2010 Also, John Williams’ Superman movie theme is All That.
Speaking of, Steven Heller has some thoughts about how AI is used/attributed in editorial images.
Michael Dirda wrote about the uselessness of book bans, how he worked around them as a kid, and what wide reading does for/to us.
Sebastian Smee wrote about road-tripping to some art museums in the midwest in This Cultural Moment. “Approaching Chicago on westbound Interstate 90 is like scrolling through an endless terms-and-conditions agreement,” he notes.
When I was single in 2002, I thought about doing a 14-day midwest driving tour of 12 MLB ballparks I’d never seen a game in, but realized I’d probably lose my mind between all the driving and the monotony of baseball, and go on a kill spree halfway through.
In April, I linked to a piece about Gary Shteyngart and his watch fetish. The NYT did a big piece about Gary’s dress style, those watches, and his dick.
Current/Recent Reading
Authority: Book 2 of The Southern Reach - Jeff VanderMeer
The Man Without Qualities, Vol. 2 - Robert Musil (tr. Wilkins & Pike) - FINISHED! A day before dad died! (Which means I barely retained anything of the last 6-7 chapters, and will have to re-read them sometime)
Everyman - Philip Roth (just the section at the end with the gravedigger; I read it the day before Dad’s funeral)
A literary pal suggested I read Paul Auster’s The Invention of Solitude, about his dad’s death, so I picked that up.
Sound Body, Fractured Mind
I got in yoga yesterday for my first workout since the week before, when Dad’s final collapse started. I’m hoping to get some weights in today before I hit the road. The upside is, the stress and irregular schedule means I’ve dropped a couple pounds in the past week. I don’t have to be ready to lift a 180-lb. man off the floor anymore, but I’ll keep up with the weights, and maybe restart running again.
I missed a few meditation sessions because of everything, but the ones I’ve had helped.
Until Next Time
Thanks for reading this far! I’ll try to be back on Wednesday, with a new monologue episode, and maybe a new Instax, & some art, and on Sunday I’ll be back with links, books, & workout craziness, & maybe a little profundity or something.
Let’s not try to figure out everything at once,
My condolences, Gil. When my mum died (over ten years ago now) it took me a while to have a proper cry; I think it’s normal when there are a lot of things to take care of. It goes to some compartment in your head, to be indulged when it’s a less inconvenient time. Appreciate you sharing this and I hope this finds you in as good a place as can be expected at such a time.
Condolences to you and your family, Gil! 🙏🏻