63 - The Worst Season Of Them All
Hi !
They say that Melbourne experiences four seasons in one day. The Summer heat, the windy Autumn, the roaring, wet Winter…
and Spring, which you will soon see is the Worst Season of them All.
So, let’s begin.
First of all, what are with these ‘spring showers’. Like, you’ll get rain, and sun at the same time. What the hell is that about? How about you just PICK A LANE, Spring. All the other seasons have their shit sorted:
- Summer, you get hot, dry days. Maybe it’ll be humid, and that sucks. But you get to go out and enjoy the world, go to the beach, take a dip into the ocean, have more outdoor activities like hiking, or barbeques. Whatever, great.
- Winter, you get those great rainy days where you can stay inside, listening to the patter of rain on your windows, while you’re snuggled on the couch playing video games, or rugged up blasting Scrubs into your tired eyes for the tenth time. Still worth it.
- Autumn, the wind starts to pick up, but you also get these amazing autumnal colours; reds, oranges, yellows that make it worth it. There isn’t much rain in autumn, so it means you can still have some of those outdoor things. Also, there are like 5 public holidays during autumn. So there.
Secondly, what the hell is with ‘spring cleaning’. How about you just…clean up after yourself? (Though please don’t look into my bedroom, thanks) Also, why haven’t you been doing your cleaning during the indoor hours of winter? What else did you have to do inside? You just HAD to wait for spring before you thought ‘well this is a great excuse to throw out a bunch of stuff’?
If you’re not going to do it normally, just don’t do it. I hold this philosophy for a lot of things in life - if I wasn’t going to backup my files on World Backup Your Files Day, then I’ll live with the consequences.
Life is RISK.
Lastly, fuck hayfever. It is the most debilitating bane of my existence that comes around EVERY year, and it only attacks during Spring. Because of that damned pollen. Stupid life-giving plant particle…thing.
Do you know the way I found out I had hayfever?
I was at this holiday program called ~ * Holiday Magic * ~ (yes we’ll talk about it another post), and we had gone out to some park or gardens for a field trip. Really fun time, and there was this massive hill (or at least, it was massive to us at the time). In our boisterous youth, we decided to roll down the grassy hill, and see who could get to the bottom quickest.
Seriously, are kids dumb? Like how much grief have I put my parents through with dirty clothes, scuffed knees and face, and potentially eating a few worms on the way down during a competition like that?
After the second time I had gone down the hill and was rushing back up to the top of the hill, one of the monitors grabbed me with concern and asked if I was alright. I tried to shake her off and said ‘Yeah I’m fine’, and she showed me my hand - “Dude, you’re red all over”. I looked at my arms, and yup, she was right.
HIVES, ALL OVER MY BODY. ITCHY FACE. SCRATCHY LEGS. FIERY FEELINGS ALL OVER MY BODY. If you looked at me from far away you’d probably think I was an oasis with the amount of heat radiating off my body.
So that was the first great “your son has incredibly severe hayfever” experience for my parents, getting a panicked call from the holiday group. From then on, it not only helped to trigger my hyperthyroidism, but is also the cause for my fuzzy thinking during Spring, generating a a skip-bin full of mucus every freaking day, and for some reason CANNOT BE STOPPED. School sucked in Spring. I hated going out and suffering for the entire season. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t sing, I couldn’t breathe.
UGH.
TMI, but my nose gets rubbed raw over time from blowing it so many times. The number of tissue boxes I go through is phenomenal - I feel vaguely responsible for all the wood being chopped down in the Amazon…(should I be planting trees to restore balance to our environment? David Attenborough approves.)
Then again, I’m actually enjoying Spring right now because I’m forced to stay inside, and masks are somewhat helping when I’m walking about.
And I don’t even need to drug up!
I think I’ve tried nearly every hayfever medication under the sun - including those nasal sprays. After time, they start to lose effectiveness; I’ve had Claratyne, Aerius, Claramax, Claratyne (second formulation), Nasonex; the list goes on. The only one I haven’t had too much of is Zertec, because I don’t want it to lose effectiveness. I’ll save it for an emergency. Maybe a particularly bad Spring.
Is there ANYTHING good about Spring anyway?
Flowers are nice I guess.
Chat soon :) P.S. Don’t @ me - I know I’m right.
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