249 - it's a maccas rant 🥚🍔
I had plans to really go through and review my posts and do some analytics and stuff, , but I just had to postpone that to write up this rant because I have an egg to pick with McDonalds.
Also, my newsletter provider said that none of y'all got this post from last week that was my end of trip reflections - so I'm re-adding it here in case y'all didn't see it!
It all started through me coming back from my long service leave and, I think, adjusting back to the way that I actually sleep and wake up. Before I left for Europe, I slept late (like midnight?), and woke up in just enough time to throw on my clothes, head out to the bus, and get to work on time.
However, I've been waking up early - like, 6 or 6:30am which is VERY different for me; I'm not used to having time to have a morning routine or do anything in the morning before I go to work. Sure, I can do my daily doomscroll, but even after sinking in a good solid hour of it, it was still 7:30!!
How is there so much time!? Is this why morning people think they're superior???
Anyway, since I was up on this fateful day, I decided to go to Macca's for breakfast. It's been a little treat for me since I was young - we rarely got to go, which has translated over my life into adult Vince wanting to go all the time when he has a chance (i.e. when he wakes up early (i.e. which was never)). My choice is a li'l Sausage and Egg McMuffin and a hashbrown - it's the S tier in a very short selection of breakfasts that McDonald's provides. I'm also not much of a breakfast boi, so it's a treat on a treat!
To my horror though, this time when I had absent-mindedly bitten into my McMuffin while watching a YouTube vide (yes I know I need to eat more mindfully), I realised that it only had a sausage patty in it.
No egg! Disaster!!! This was supposed to be my treat after waking up too early and now I have been deprived of my EGG?!? Is it too much to ask the universe for a morsel of deliciousness in this cold, soul-crushing world???
I mean, there must have been a mistake right? I went back to the counter and asked where the hell my egg was and they responded with the receipt that was on my bag that I had asked for a Sausage McMuffin.
I'm sorry, WHAT? I was gobsmacked.
There's such a thing as a Sausage McMuffin ONLY? Why? Genuinely, WHY? Who is asking for this??? Is this a new thing?? Have I been away for 6 weeks and McDonalds Australia decided to go absolutely ROGUE?
I mean, look at it. It looks so wrong and out of place; like if your head was just connected to your legs - it's obvious that something very significant is missing in the middle of this abomination:
Based on this disastrous turn of events, I realised I had to look into the menu more, and I have found some horrors of which I need to share with you:
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Firstly, this abomination of a 'Sausage McMuffin' which is 60c cheaper than a Sausage and Egg McMuffin but is infinitely worse (so mathematically it is also crap value). You're literally just getting a muffin, with a meaty interior, but no soft egg to balance out the texture. YUCK. I have never seen this on the menu before, but to me it smacks of the 'introduce the Hamburger at the original Cheeseburger price and then raise the price of the Cheeseburger' antics which I noticed they had done about 2-3 years ago. Even Maccas is vulnerable to MBA / tech company pricing antics 😢.
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Then, there's a new 'Chicken McMuffin' which okay, I get it from a business point of view because they can reuse some of their ingredients, but again, who was asking for this?? Literally every other fast good outlet does better chicken...is Maccas trying to dominate the "people who have lost the will to go to any other chicken fast food restaurant and can only gain their sustenance from Maccas" niche? 'Cos I don't know how lucrative that is. AND THEN they had the audacity to double down on this and offer a 'Chicken & Bacon McMuffin'??? WHO IS DOING PRODUCT AT MACCAS. 😡
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THEN I realised (although quite late I'm sure) that the 'Big Breakfast' that I used to get with mum and dad on a quiet Sunday morning has dropped off the menu!! The scrambled eggs with a sausage patty and an English muffin - kind of like a deconstructed Sausage and Egg McMuffin but so delicious.
- I will note that they have a 'Big Breakfast' on offer right now which is just like...2 McMuffins and 2 hashbrowns. So I guess I'd forgive them for that because that seems pretty value.
- ACTUALLY scratch that - in that Big Breakfast your choices are Bacon & Egg, Sausage & Egg, or Sausage (by itself). HOW ARE THOSE EQUIVALENT? One is literally a worse version of the other one?!? AM I GOING CRAZY?????
Anyway I still love Maccas because of the app which gives me rewards every week so I ain't leaving 🥰
This was just the first signs of an old man shaking his fist at the sky, raging against corporate mismanagement, capitalist nonsense, and eggless breakfasts.
Chat soon :)
PS. Give me all your Maccas Monopoly properties kthxbye.
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✔️Real Life Recommendations
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I am not Madame Bovary - a uniquely shot Chinese film that tells the story of a woman who was wronged by an ex-husband, and has continuously appealed to higher courts over and over. The bureaucratic part of this story reeks of Death of Stalin in a good way and was so funny! Steph recommended this to me, and now I'm recommending it to you if you haven't watched it. Fantastic movie!
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Beverly - remember a while back I had written a piece about 'what kind of company are you?' and yet again I'm finding a place which has the same name as a friend of mine! The rooftop at this place is designed specifically to let the afternoon sun stream in through these floor-to-ceiling windows, and going at the right time means you get some hella cool photos bathed in warm yellow glows. I didn't realise how influencer-y it would be, but the vibe was immaculate. I didn't try much food though, so can't comment on that, but it's a nice place to go. Recommended!
🚌 Adventures on the Information Super-Highway
- The secret inside One Million Checkboxes - the checkboxes thing that I posted a few weeks ago had some hidden secrets...!
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Night Owls have better brain function than Morning People - okay, this is 100% confirmation bias but also morning people can lord their physical exercise over me so I'll take brain function instead. Key quote:
"Our study found that adults who are naturally more active in the evening - what we called 'eveningness' - tended to perform better on cognitive tests than those who are 'morning people'," said lead author of the study, Dr Raha West, from the Department of Surgery and Cancer at Imperial College London.
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Invisible Ink: At the CIA’s Creative Writing Group - a curious look into what spies like to do in their downtime; write novels!