248.7 - cup filled 🍵
Hey there, !
Last post on the trip - a bundle of last thoughts about leave, learnings and life. If you don't want to read, I've done a photo dump at the back of this post that didn't fit anywhere else :D As always, enjoy!
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Solo travel enjoyment: I'd do it again if I had to, but I would much prefer traveling with others. Solo travel has a lot of good points - the spontaneity, not being beholden to anyone else's schedule, and being able to start and stop wherever you want (and I loved resting!). I am pretty good at keeping my own company and finding my own stuff to do to keep me happy; however, as a food motivated traveler, the lack of other people really put a dent into all the stuff I wanted to try and eat LOL. I was constantly trying to rationalise spending so much money (on myself) which I would gladly spend if I was with another person. That extends to hotels, events, activities - it's just less efficient from a $ perspective but c'est la vie with solo travel!
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The evolution of me as a traveler: As mentioned in a previous post, I think I've evolved from a more controlled planner to someone a bit more spontaneous and free flowing. I booked the places I was going the first week I was in London; I made a total of like...2 reservations more than 48 hours in advance; and I stumbled upon a lot of things (like the Olympic Flame at the Tuileries Gardens) which I probably wouldn't have! I think I picked this up from all the friends I traveled with last year and it has done wonders in keeping anxieties about travel low - so thank you <3
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Being a tourist: I found I liked visiting these places more than I thought I would - bookstores, stationery stores, museums, gifts shops (but only those with unique things in 'em) and fancy city architecture. Surprisingly I did not really seek out boardgame stores with the vigor I thought I would have; maybe I'm at satiation point with a full boardgame closet and limited suitcase space with which to bring it back to Australia? What I also noticed was that I felt like tick-boxing other places which made me feel a bit icky. Other thoughts on the above:
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I felt very capitalistic every time I went to bookstores and gift shops to buy stuff - I really like to collect mementoes from around the world, and I know that it's a very normal thing to do, but I observed myself second-guessing purchases literally just because of 'Am I really buying this stupid shit to bring home?' and the answer was often 'Yes, this 10 euro magnet of a cat with a wizard's hat makes me happy'.
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I can't remember where it was, but I was conscious that I had visited some landmark just to say 'I've been here' but not actually care what was there or why it was important. I came, I saw, I took a picture and went to the next spot. I think it was Edinburgh? The castles and historical buildings that adorned the streets were pretty, but I was finding myself barely giving them a glance and taking a picture before moving on to the next shitty gift shop; realised that, and thought 'hey maybe I should try to care a bit more?'. Perhaps it's one of those left over vestiges from how I used to travel on Asian tours (30 mins at every stop (except shopping)! You want to visit Harvard, MIT? SIKE get back on the bus).
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Talking to strangers: My experiences overseas made me wonder how good I actually am at talking to strangers. I usually pride myself on being able to get along with people easily / quickly, but I noticed in Paris and Porto that I didn't really want to pick up conversations with randoms even though every time I did, it ended up good. Was I being overly cautious about opening up to people? Stranger danger? Or have I cultivated my own world where I just never make the first move? Anyway, it got better after Lisbon so maybe I just need to get over myself.
On the other hand, catching up with people in London was fantastic. Friends picking up like no time had passed, genuine care and warmth from people I hadn't seen for a while - it was so lovely.
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$$$$$: Money can't buy you happiness but it sure as hell can buy you good food and better experiences while you travel! I massively see-sawed between 'TREAT YOURSELF' and 'I have HOW MUCH left?!!?' as I traveled; I think I went ham in Paris and Porto, and then frugal in Lisbon and Edinburgh (well, relatively). That time I was going out to the fado bar in Lisbon, I remember thinking "oh, I'm going to be spending so muchhh~" but at the same time "I'm in Portugal surely I need to try and see this!". Luckily, a bias towards action got me out of the room, but the pockets are very light coming back to Australia.
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Privilege: on the other hand, I did also reflect on being so lucky and privileged to be able to gripe about those things above. Taking six weeks off for long service? Unheard of by nearly everyone I talked to overseas. Having the funds to go to all these wonderful places and experiencing so much cool stuff? It's like I was taking a honeymoon...for myself! Genuinely thankful for everything that has brought me here; friends, family, and most importantly, me - to be able to have this amazing time in Europe.
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Living: Life felt longer - this six weeks has felt like six months (in a good way). It was really satisfying to reflect on this since it was one of the main things that came out of my panic attacks; to try and make life feel longer since I'm afraid of death. By saying "well I'm not gonna be here again so soon and life is short, so I should go try new things", the novelty made every day feel so long. I know it seems elementary but it helped spur me to actually go do new things. Then again, I probably would have been just as happy killing time at home watching movies and doin' nothing, but I probably would have felt a lot ickier afterwards.
There's no inspirational end to this that says I have been changed for the better / for good - it's just nice to have had the opportunity to take such a long time off to unwind and destress. I'm under no illusions that it'll pass so quickly, but if this isn't nice, what is? 🥰
Photos
oh yes, did I mention I'm a billionaire now?
Made it to Ted Lasso mecca aka Richmond! Ate at the pub, bought the merch - we love to love wholesome tv.
Steph assuming the prime movie-watching position.
On the lookout for port in Porto 👀
...or maybe for this rabbit?
Like bubble tea, made with like...a tea/espresso pressure machine thing? HI TECH
These guys were playing BANGERS in 35degree heat - super entertaining!
And of course, to round off the trip, fried chicken, london-style :D
Back to regularly scheduled programming soon.
Love y'all.