137 - The Shameful Chess Blowup ♟️💥
Hey there, !
I hate telling this story because it paints me in a really bad light, but I think that if I don't tell this story it'll just be something shameful forever rather than something I can laugh about.
This is the story of the time that I learnt not to be such a crybaby at school, and how I could better respond to people who SUCK.
1.
I love to play Chess.
I played from a very young age - Dad taught me when I was 3, and my uncles were extremely into Chinese Chess (and tried to teach me that too - it was just a language barrier that I had to overcome to git gud). I loved being taught, and learning the tactics and strategies of chess - which flourished into a lifelong love for strategy games.
In primary school, there were extra-curriculars that I could sign up for where I actually learned the principles of Chess (openings, endgames, general principles etc.). I remember sitting in random classrooms while the afternoon sun shone outside, learning how forks and pins worked, the reasons why certain openings worked, studying interesting chess games and how the horsey moves (it moves in an L).
It was one of my key competitive outlets - not being particularly athletically gifted, the chess tournaments we played every week were the one way I would try to excel. The tournaments were round robin style, and you would play a couple of games in that session - often with a 15m timer for each player.
2.
When I was in, maybe Year 5 or something, a chess tournament was set up as part of the 'advanced students' program (I don't know what it was called, but it was essentially all the nerds who needed more academic stimulation).
Every week they would bring something new for us to play or to do, and on this fateful day we had a chess tournament, which I was hyped about. Finally, a chance to prove I was really really good at something!
We went through playing through the round robin, using the ELO system that chess popularised. I won many of them, as I knew I would (brag), but was always wary of someone we'll call KZ. We were essentially seeded, so I didn't play against him for a long time...
Until we got to the final game.
I knew from other games that I had played with KZ that he was a monster. He was really really really good at chess, and probably had a higher ELO than I did. I could beat him sometimes, as long as I was on, and I didn't make any mistakes, and I capitalised on all of his mistakes as well.
The tension was palpable...
3.
...for like 10 moves.
Then, he absolutely crushed me.
It was embarrasingly bad how many extreme blunders I made, where it ultimately culminated in him trapping my King in this like...long corridor, with a bunch of my own pieces able to sacrifice themselves but not do anything productive - it would ultimately lead to my checkmate.
I just stared at the board, beating myself up about the whole thing, and watched as my time ticked down, trying to find another way out. I honestly should have just resigned.
Instead, I sulked. I sat there and got more and more sad, as KZ got more exasperated as the outcome was completely predictable.
KZ started getting bored and talking to the people around us. He watched other boards, and when the asked why he was doing so, he gloated, "He's about to get checkmated, hahaha."
I blew up, instantly, "SHUT UP!" I started crying and making a big ass deal about the whole thing. We were in the library, so the quiet peace and tick tock of the clocks was shattered by the violent outcry, and me getting even more upset. I nearly flipped the whole game over.
KZ was flabbergasted - this was an easy win for him, I should have resigned...but instead had a complete over-reaction.
He was called up to talk to the teacher, and when he came back...it was just...ugh.
He started sacrificing his whole advantage. He destroyed all his own pieces just so that I could win, and though in the moment I felt momentarily happy that I didn't have to lose, afterwards I absolutely loathed holding that 1st place trophy. I have it still, somewhere at home, but I think it lost it's shine as soon as I touched it.
I didn't earn that shit at all. It wasn't because of my own effort - it was due to my tantrum that I had won, and I hated it.
We were still friends, and I apologised later for the overreaction, but it really annoyed me at how incensed I had become. I resolved from that day on not to take things so seriously, especially game-wise. Winning isn't everything - the joy is in learning and exploring the game space, and finding wonder in things you haven't discovered before.
Sometimes, you gotta learn these things the hard way. Being so competitive about the game and losing control of my own emotions - what a way to learn.
To be honest, I didn't get that much better, and he would still beat me at future tournaments, but I do remember that I got way better at controlling myself.
So...anyone wanna play some chess?
Chat soon :)
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Molly's Game - a biographical story of Molly Bloom, an ex-Olympic skier who stated running exclusive poker games in NY and LA. This one was directed by Aaron Sorkin, and it shows - the rapid witty banter and stylish production helped build a great story about the titular Molly, and how she started her game (and continued on with it when it was taken away from her). The poker talk was there (which I know very little of) but the focus is on how the characters interact, rather than the game itself, so it didn't detract from the movie. It's a fun movie that I watched during my COVID period - recommended for some easy watching!
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Grazeland - a permanent (?) food festival place out in Spotswood (like, near Scienceworks) that I went to a while ago - it was actually a fun vibe with a lot of weird and different foods that I don't usually see. I had this really lovely Sri Lankan kothu which is like rice+roti+spices+meat combination that was DELISH. It's a bit of a drive to get out there but it's a pretty fun experience!
🚌 Adventures on the Information Super-Highway
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Japan's Hometown Tax - the most fascinating thing I've read about how taxes are spread from money earnt in cities back to hometowns. It's evolved over the years from getting money back to your 'hometown' to a system where you can choose the town which you want to spend your taxes on, and in many cases they'll send back a little hometown gift, or a travel certificate to allow you to get back 'home'. Fascinating scheme!
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