131 - Memory Lane (literally) 💭🛣️
Hey there, !
Big ideas, quick reflections.
1.
We've all been watching the Ukraine crisis and hating everything about it (I hope). It's a really shitty situation that makes me grateful that where I currently live has peace (for now) but also sad for those whose lives have been torn asunder.
One aspect of the tragedy that stuck with me was when a news report showed a man who was in his old neighbourhood and he said something to the effect of:
This used to be my home. Our home. A whole community of people now scattered because of this war.
For some reason, it was more poignant seeing just like...an empty square surrounded by the rubble of buildings. I thought about his community; these people have spent years of their lives in this space, seeing people around them move in, grow up, move away, come back, families that gripe, bitch but also support their neighbours, the local spots; all gone in an explosive instant.
I thought about their futures, and how they are probably going to remember those places, that community, forever - but they can't go back.
It'll only ever exist inside their heads.
2.
My family is from Hong Kong, and for the longest time, we went back every two or three years to see our extended family. It was always a great trip for me - I got to see all this family I never knew, I got to experience a whole new land that was weirdly familiar (I mean, everyone looked like me, and I could understand their language!) and there were new experiences, new foods, new things to keep me entertained.
I remember my parents (mainly Mum) teaching me how to bargain at street stalls, learning how to walk away from stuff you really want (and then getting pulled back to it and having to haggle in Cantonese - and trying to pass for a local so they cut you a better deal!).
I remember taking the MTR when it didn't have those protective screens, and I remember how...'organic' everything felt - there were stalls and shops that were owned by independent owners, there were those little cube shops (but lots of them) in shopping centres - it was an adventure to explore every day.
The last time I went back, well, it was different. There were less stalls, less interesting stuff. The malls had become much more corporate. The organic nature of the city had been polished and shined until it was kinda...too shiny, and lacked the character I had loved all those years ago. All I could see were brands and brands and brands and the death of uniqueness across those old street stalls.
It was a treat to see one of those old market vendors hawking their plastic bag cutter/melter thing that seals them while you cut - weird and wacky gadgets!
I went back as a food trip last time, and though there were still hole-in-the-walls and places that were still alive from when I used to go there, there were also a lot more that didn't exist any more. It seemed so transient - I felt weird that it had changed so much.
Then again, maybe this is a part of growing up, or maybe it's a part of seeing cities change over time, but I know that I won't be able to go back to the Hong Kong I used to go to, except in my memories.
3.
Do you treasure your memories from school? I feel like it's a prime example of what I'm trying to explain here - that there was a time in your life that you were surrounded by friends, enemies, teachers, acquaintances, bullies - and that community was your whole world. That unique set of circumstances that brought you all there together at that time in the universe is something that you never experience again - everyone will move on, forge their own paths, keep some friends close and get rid of the rest; it's an inevitability that I guess, looking back, I barely appreciated.
Your friendships slow down, you spend more time with colleagues, work, and your own shit (mainly adulting), and find new things that help you break away from the chrysalis of high school.
Sure, you'll come back every 5 or 10 years for a reunion and see how people have fared in ther battle against the world. Most of these lead to long reminiscences of age-old events with a green patina of mis-remembered words and feelings; those live only in memory - that community you had is gone.
4.
But your school moves on, even without you. Every day, every month, every year, the dramas, ebbs and flows of relationships and communities at school changes, and the place survives.
Hong Kong changes, and it survives. When '97 happened for Hong Kong, there was diaspora of Cantonese people who have now established themselves all across the Commonwealth - and ended up with people like me! We remember our traditions, we cook our food, watch our TV, and transform Chinese culture into those third, inbetween-cultures all around the world.
I feel for the communities of Ukraine - they are undergoing a whole lot of change (not of their own choice or doing), but I'm sure the spirit of their community will survive as well.
Have you heard the saying:
“They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time” - Banksy
We live at this moment in time, with the people around us, doing the things we love doing. Cherish these memories - they won't last long.
Chat soon :)
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✔️Real Life Recommendations
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Turning Red - on Disney+, the newest Disney/Pixar movie. I loved this movie so. damn. much. It tells the story of a 13 year old Chinese-Canadian girl in 2002 trying to work out how to navigate puberty and the balance of being a good daughter, and a good friend. Surprisingly, there were lots of behaviours and habits that the Mum figure modeled that I saw in my own experience - it was super relatable and was one of the first 'third culture' movies that I've seen where they don't have to 'go back' to their original culture (i.e. China) to seek meaning. The animation was gorgeous (as always) but I also saw the influence of things like Spiderverse where they are using the animation style to full effect - doing things you can only do in animation. The style was brilliant, and the story was so bloody relatable. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
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Old Beijing - in QV - I avoided it because it looked like it was an overproduced tourist trap of a Chinese restaurant but dayummm it is good. The Peking Duck is what you go there for, and it is actually so good. They don't just give you 15 pieces + 15 wraps - it's like...20 wraps, but MOUNDS of meat. I haven't had such a satisfying mouthful of Peking Duck pancake in a while - it was just so juicy and flavorful, especially because you could put a couple of pieces of meat in at once. Very delish - and very quick service. Most importantly, great value ;)
🚌 Adventures on the Information Super-Highway
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Plans you're not supposed to talk about - I don't think I've read something that's so relatable so quickly. I don't talk about a lot of these things, and try to out-think the general population but end up just following the flow because really, at the end of the day, there's a reason it's popular. A bit of humility for myself I guess.
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The Reading Obsession - a good reminder (again, some humility!) that reading isn't enough - the actual thing that's important is wisdom that comes from that reading. As I've said before, action is information - and so it can't all just be reading and reading and absorbing information - something has to come from it too!
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Facebook’s own ads reveal: not many people are using Facebook Dating - didn't even know this was a thing, but people aren't using it anyway? Has anyone 'cracked' the online dating thing yet? I sure haven't...