10 - Welcome to my show
My gosh - I've now written 10 whole posts, and you've stayed around for them all!!
Thank you again for your support, your replies, and the conversations they've sparked in real life! Super appreciative that you even care about this still, and you haven't unsubscribed ^^ Hopefully you're still finding value in this...if not, feel free to tell me I'm shit.
Also, if you think someone else you know would enjoy this, please pass it on!
I'm going to try and keep this going for as long as I can! Let me know when you get bored and I'll try something new :)
Thanks again - now on to the post!
It shouldn't come as a surprise to many of you that I'm a bit of an overthinker (especially if you've stuck with me so far for these posts!). It's one of those things that's a double-edged sword...sure, you think about things a lot, but on the other hand, you think about things a lot.
One of the things I notice that I don't show often enough, is how I think about how I am thinking, or reacting, or feeling, about a particular thing. In a lot of cases, I feel like I provide the reaction that is expected of me, instead of what I might be feeling. I've caught myself a few times before saying "um...how do you want me to react?".
This is definitely something I've been thinking a lot about recently - whether I'm living for myself, or for others.
Part of the life journey thinking, y'know?
In The Courage To Be Disliked, one of the key titular theses is that if you're living for yourself, there must be someone who dislikes you - the world is so varied and different that someone must disagree with something about you, and that one must find the courage to actually be disliked. If you go through life in an agreeable way, and you are liked by literally everyone you encounter, then it's probably because you're living for other people.
And look, that's me to a T.
At least, it's what I want(ed) from my life - to be happy, and for people to like me. I've been told at work to be more disagreeable, or to be more honest about what I'm thinking, and I can tell you - it's quite hard! It takes a lot of very conscious effort to undo the programming of your upbringing, and to speak up about what you want from life takes courage.
My Dinner with Andre is a great conversation movie - the type of movie that I'm getting into a lot! It's a...genre(?) of movies that I absolutely adore - just conversation for the entire movie. Here, one of the men, a successful playwright who's been exploring different experiences around the world, talks about the need for people to be performing in a fantasy land of their own imagining, instead of communing with who they are as people, and finding the honesty and authenticity to be themselves.
One of his anecdotes is about directing a 'play' with 30 or 40 people in the woods, where it's a full improvisation...of their lives - it's like they're performing, but they're using it as an excuse to be who they really are. It's a bit of a trippy anecdote, and though it sounds super weird, I highly recommend watching this if you can find it!
I remember watching that idea play out in the movie, and thinking to myself that there have been a lot of times in my life where I will react in the way that other people want to react, instead of being genuine to myself - sort of like a performer in a show. There are some things I don't find funny, that I might laugh at so that I can pull the tension out of the room that I'm feeling. There are times that are sad, where I won't cry, but I will try to look sad because that's what's expected of me.
I can recall a few times in my life where I'm even just by myself, getting some good or bad news, and thinking "If my life was a movie, how would I be expected to react right now? What would the audience be looking at?" And then I'll do that.
I think it's a consequence of the intense overthinking - I'm trying to think about what the right response is. What do people usually do in this case? How am I responding to it? Am I actually feeling this thing right now? Should I make it look like I am??
After thinking about it even longer, I got to the point of thinking that...really, sometimes there's no 'right response'.
Just feel what you feel. Don't worry about anyone else.
Simple truths, but profound realisations...(for me anyway).
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm a psychopath - I still have feelings (I hope!), but I'm working on actually reacting naturally, and authentically to who I am - instead of living for other people. Let me know how I go :)
Do you guys ever feel this way? And should I now pivot my career to become an actor since I'm so good at being the main character in my own play? /s
Chat soon :)
✔️ Real Life Recommendations
-
Talking to my daughter about the economy - written by Yanis Varoufakis, the former Greek financial minister (and also a one-time consultant for Valve to build their Team Fortress 2 virtual hat economy), this book is a really simple explanation of business, capitalism and world economics. I loved it - it was a really easy way to grasp big concepts; like you've seen before, a good explanation always gets me going.
-
Mr Crackles - Roast pork aplenty! I've had varied experiences at this place, but it's mostly good. The pork crackling boxes are really nice, and the roast pork they use in the rolls are really good. The bread leaves something to be desired (sometimes too hard) but the fat in the pork helps to bring a rich, lovely flavour. They don't skimp on the pork either!
🚌 Adventures on the Information Super-Highway
-
Bet on things that never change - more relevant to the business / investing world, but this piece does break down some basic concepts about what to bet on strategy-wise. Often, the tech isn't going to supplant you, it's the deeper need fulfilment that you should connect with.
-
I visited 47 sites - hundred of trackers followed me - a fascinating NYTimes story and visualisation of the trackers that track you across websites. Well worth a look!
-
Facebook Dating - apparently Facebook is trying to get into the dating apps realm? Tinder and Bumble look out?!? The Secret Crush feature is new - not sure what to think about it. It might not really help you get over crushes and instead just pine over them for a longer period of time...?