hiya, how ya been?
After being off most social media (basically except my work accounts, because that's an unavoidable part of Running A Business sadly) for a few weeks, I've been rethinking and slowly re-working my ongoing relationship with it. I love seeing updates from friends, from the big life events to what they ate for tea that day. I love the potential to discover new things, form bonds with new people. And there's the FOMO if you're not on there - right?
When I'm feeling lonely I usually pull out my phone and scroll. My counsellor compared this coping mechanism to the act of sitting in a cafe, being around people but more passively. I agreed, but added that at least in cafes people aren't usually shouting at each other. And the thing is, it hasn't been working. It doesn't make me feel less lonely, and often it makes me feel worse. I feel bombarded with all the bad news (and often bad people) in the world, and do that cliche thing of comparing myself to other people and convincing myself that everyone else has a better life in some way or another. And I seem too overwhelmed to actually reply to people messaging me.
The internet hasn't always felt this way for me. As a teen, forums and MSN Messenger/AOL/ICQ felt like my lifeline, especially when I was too shy to chat to most people in person. The internet helped me find all the subcultures and interests that no one was going to introduce me to IRL, in my northern village outside a crappy small town. Blogs and Flickr groups inspired me. It's where I bought and swapped zines long before I was a zine fest regular. It's how I found dates. Even after smartphones came around, I'd be constantly texting/WhatsApping a few friends at a time. Now my internet relationship feels a bit broken, and I blame the tech bros who only care about maximising monetisation (and power).
So - in an attempt to take control back from The Algorithms, I'm trying different things. I'm saving more to put in zines, but still want to keep something faster - digital. This tinyletter. And reading and writing blogs again? I set up an RSS reader on my phone, here's some of the blogs I'm following RN (please send me yours/your faves - deffo on the lookout for good music blogs).
- Both Gears For Queers and Lea's Zine Jam
- The feminist/queer cliche classics: Autostraddle, Bitch and Bust
- Echo Publishing
- Pikaland
- Sea Green Zines
- The Women's Library
Telly 👀
After 2 long pandemic years filled with a lot of TV hours, I've been actively trying to watch less in 2022. But I watched the 3rd season of Master of None recently. It was.. kinda boring? Watching a series focussed on two Black lesbians hanging around the countryside was lush in it's own way, but oh the slowness, the wealth. Maybe if I'd ever experienced the desire to have children myself it'd be more interesting? I couldn't relate to anyone dropping thousands to go through IVF on multiple levels. I could imagine the whole series being a set of beautiful photographs and enjoying it a lot more.
Sky Report 🐕
Soz if you don't like dogs but I've decided to always give myself space to gush about my dog here, cos I am a millennial who has pets instead of children.
She's had a bit of a funny tummy the past week (annoyingly timed, her spaying had to be postponed. It's like she knew), so we've been cooking up plain boiled chicken and pasta. It's really weird to be cooking actual meat after 17 years of not eating it, I'm surprised at how little visible difference there is between real and fake chicken pieces - and at least with boiling, the real stuff smells much, much worse.
Little things I've enjoyed:
- Ben and Jerry's salted caramel brownie vegan ice cream.
- Unpacking: A zen puzzle game about unpacking a life. Very good, very cute, but too short for the price, even on sale imo (about 3 hours to play it through).
- WORLDLE - like Wordle, but for guessing countries. My geography skills are shite, so I looked for more geography games: Map Puzzle
- Pre-prepping proper breakfasts the night before.
- Allotment joys: knocking down the old badly-placed beds, more and more carpet disappearing, making plans to double the useable bed space.
- Fave books read recently: The Lonely City by Olivia Laing, A Love Story for Bewildered Girls by Emma Morgan, Boy Parts by Eliza Clark, You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson.
- Going through my mp3 collection, deleting all the crap songs that some indie lad probably gave me on a mix cd, uploading more 90s RnB to my mp3 player.
When I'm feeling lonely I usually pull out my phone and scroll. My counsellor compared this coping mechanism to the act of sitting in a cafe, being around people but more passively. I agreed, but added that at least in cafes people aren't usually shouting at each other. And the thing is, it hasn't been working. It doesn't make me feel less lonely, and often it makes me feel worse. I feel bombarded with all the bad news (and often bad people) in the world, and do that cliche thing of comparing myself to other people and convincing myself that everyone else has a better life in some way or another. And I seem too overwhelmed to actually reply to people messaging me.
The internet hasn't always felt this way for me. As a teen, forums and MSN Messenger/AOL/ICQ felt like my lifeline, especially when I was too shy to chat to most people in person. The internet helped me find all the subcultures and interests that no one was going to introduce me to IRL, in my northern village outside a crappy small town. Blogs and Flickr groups inspired me. It's where I bought and swapped zines long before I was a zine fest regular. It's how I found dates. Even after smartphones came around, I'd be constantly texting/WhatsApping a few friends at a time. Now my internet relationship feels a bit broken, and I blame the tech bros who only care about maximising monetisation (and power).
So - in an attempt to take control back from The Algorithms, I'm trying different things. I'm saving more to put in zines, but still want to keep something faster - digital. This tinyletter. And reading and writing blogs again? I set up an RSS reader on my phone, here's some of the blogs I'm following RN (please send me yours/your faves - deffo on the lookout for good music blogs).
- Both Gears For Queers and Lea's Zine Jam
- The feminist/queer cliche classics: Autostraddle, Bitch and Bust
- Echo Publishing
- Pikaland
- Sea Green Zines
- The Women's Library
Telly 👀After 2 long pandemic years filled with a lot of TV hours, I've been actively trying to watch less in 2022. But I watched the 3rd season of Master of None recently. It was.. kinda boring? Watching a series focussed on two Black lesbians hanging around the countryside was lush in it's own way, but oh the slowness, the wealth. Maybe if I'd ever experienced the desire to have children myself it'd be more interesting? I couldn't relate to anyone dropping thousands to go through IVF on multiple levels. I could imagine the whole series being a set of beautiful photographs and enjoying it a lot more.
Sky Report 🐕
Soz if you don't like dogs but I've decided to always give myself space to gush about my dog here, cos I am a millennial who has pets instead of children.
My friend bought Sky this plastic broccoli toy and she's more obsessed with it than anything else she's been offered so far. You just have to say the word "broccoli" and she goes hunting for it. I used to be very anti dogs-in-clothes, but had to admit coats are useful for short hairs pups in winter. It stops her shivering outside, but inside she happily gets bundled up in blankets and duvets (she nows regularly runs up to bed to curl up without prompting).
She's had a bit of a funny tummy the past week (annoyingly timed, her spaying had to be postponed. It's like she knew), so we've been cooking up plain boiled chicken and pasta. It's really weird to be cooking actual meat after 17 years of not eating it, I'm surprised at how little visible difference there is between real and fake chicken pieces - and at least with boiling, the real stuff smells much, much worse.
Little things I've enjoyed:
- Ben and Jerry's salted caramel brownie vegan ice cream.
- Unpacking: A zen puzzle game about unpacking a life. Very good, very cute, but too short for the price, even on sale imo (about 3 hours to play it through).
- WORLDLE - like Wordle, but for guessing countries. My geography skills are shite, so I looked for more geography games: Map Puzzle
- Pre-prepping proper breakfasts the night before.
- Allotment joys: knocking down the old badly-placed beds, more and more carpet disappearing, making plans to double the useable bed space.- Fave books read recently: The Lonely City by Olivia Laing, A Love Story for Bewildered Girls by Emma Morgan, Boy Parts by Eliza Clark, You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson.
- Going through my mp3 collection, deleting all the crap songs that some indie lad probably gave me on a mix cd, uploading more 90s RnB to my mp3 player.
take care,
Vicky xx
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