I published my letter and felt the 15,000 pound elephant on my chest shift just enough to let a little light in. I reached out to a few trusted friends who were either 'never-mos' (never Mormons) or ex-Mos* (ex-Mormons) and sent them the link.

* The term "ex-Mormon" can refer to former members who officially remove their names from church records, who are excommunicated by the church, or who just quietly (or not so quietly) fade into inactivity.

In our local friends' group, Kat was the only one who had left the church (about seven years earlier). I used Facebook---a platform I do not frequently use---to DM her the link to the post. I hoped it would be less obvious should she receive notification of a message if she happened to be with our other friends.

She did happen to be with one of our other friends when the notice came through. She was driving our then-friend Tracy somewhere and, not realizing I was sharing something private, handed her the phone so she could check my message and see if it was important.