This is part of a maybe never ending series. Here is part one, part two, part three, and part four.

My parents returned home after the ordination, and my kids and I returned to the monumental work of breathing in and out and putting one foot in front of the other.

About a month later (not yet three months since Eric died), things came to a head.

I was still struggling with my dad and his eclipsing experience at Ben's ordination. Despite being able to talk to my brother about it, I felt muzzled. Not wanting to hurt my extended family, I was keeping so much about my faith crisis inside and it was making me sick. It wasn't sustainable; I was going to explode.