November 18, 2024

Oh yes, I have a kitchen.

Also it is November.

There are links at the bottom if you want to skip all of this nonsense. There’s also a note for my premium subscribers down there as well. xo, everyone!

Edited to add: Header tags did not work (##) in the emails; I don't know why! They're fixed here in the archives.

First, a grief note. Because it is @*#%!-ing November.

November sucks the sweatiest of goat balls. I am almost a week away from Eric’s FOURTH year time, the twenty-sucketh.

I was watching a movie the other night (Jerry & Marge Go Large - it’s cute! I recommend!) where the token widower is basically told to get a life because (in a somewhat bewildered, condescending tone), “It’s been three years!” This shows up a lot in movies and always feels like a slap in the face. It’s different for everyone, I realize. Some widows get re-married or re-partnered quickly, and others are really never okay again.

I am beginning to accept that I am the latter. And even though that makes some people uncomfortable, it is what it is. Someday, someone will “it’s-been-ten-years-for-gods-sake” me and I will probably feel just as slapped as I did the other night.

Oh well! Let’s talk about this kitchen project I am so sick of I could puke.

It’s mostly finished. Or as finished as it will probably ever be. There are things I love about it and things I’m not as thrilled about. Such is the way of these things, I am told.

Since we may be witnessing the end of democracy and that’s super fun and not at all terrifying or anything, let’s start with the good stuff.

The things I love:

• The new and improved layout! I KNEW it would be so much better and so much more functional and it IS. Even my kids who were MUCH ANNOYED throughout the entire renovation process admit that it’s a big improvement. Here’s the old layout for kicks and giggles.
• The new cabinets. I ordered the Grizzly Shaker cabinets from RTA Cabinets. I’m happy with the quality and the wood tones are so nice after a white kitchen with peeling paint. The new layout gives me a lot more room to store and organize what I need.
• I am also thrilled with the under cabinet lighting wired into a dimmer switch. They are our new nightlights for wandering into the kitchen at 1am for a drink of water or a cookie.

• The new appliances.

  • I took a risk on that range and it is amazing. It cooks everything so nicely.
  • The kids were super skeptical of the flush-mount Maytag microwave, but have gotten used to the controls being inside the door.
  • The Bosch dishwasher has those new flat touch-sensitive buttons that don’t actually press down which is my only complaint. The third drawer is dreamy.
  • I’ve been really happy with the smaller counter-depth side-by side fridge. I never want a drawer freezer ever again. Two weird caveats: I had to order a dairy bin and extra freezer shelves separately (both AF links). Shrinkflation? I dunno.

On the fence or not thrilled stuff:

• The tile & countertop choices design-wise: The green floor tile is a lovely quality and such a pretty color (difficult to photograph on the kitchen side; slightly better pic below), but I really should have gone with a green backsplash and a darker countertop to make it all look cohesive. I’m not an interior designer and it shows.

  I was really worried about the dolomite countertop being easy to stain and etch and so far it’s holding up nicely. It’s really pretty on its own, but again I don’t think I pulled all the different elements together well (I was very panicked about the budget). The white backsplash & light counter would have looked better with a lighter floor.

• Peninsula outlet: The electrician did his best but the new drawers on the other side of the peninsula did not allow enough room for the electrical box to be added where we really wanted it. The work-around was to install the outlet on the stool-side under the counter overhang (you can see it in the above photo). This outlet gets used every day and its location is a lot less convenient than it was before the renovation, but we’d rather have one than not at all.

• Apron sink! They’re so popular, I know, and I always regretted not putting one in when we built the house. However!! We don’t love it. I love the look and I’m delighted to be shot of the stainless steel sink that never, ever looked clean. However! That inch of counter top we lost by exposing the front of the sink actually matters to all of us tall folk. We splash ourselves silly while washing dishes and it’s not the best. It probably could have been helped if I went with a deeper sink but we only had so much space under the cabinet.

There are a lot dumb little things that aren’t finished and still need doing, but you can’t see them so I’m not going to waste time talking about them.

Dining Room (Breakfast nook, really)

I purchased enough shiplap/beadboard to go around the whole dining room, but I ran out of spoons in September, y’all. It was all I could do to get that little section up to cover the part of the wall that gets banged up by the chairs. I am calling it good enough!

I rehung the curtains we already had (custom ordered from this etsy shop a few years ago) along with the art I already had (framed pages from this book [AF link]- frames are from Ikea - ordered custom skinny mats from somewhere I can’t remember)

The new table is lighter and more orange than I wanted but we’ve gotten used to it and it’s fine. It’s from Birchlane/Wayfair here. I’ve generally had terrible ordering experiences with Wayfair, but this one went okay. It’s narrower than the table Eric and I made (out in the garage; I can’t quite bear to get rid of it) so it’s a better fit for the (weird) space.

After lots of problems with big box store chairs falling apart over the years, I sprung for these Amish-made chairs in their darkest stain. We had to wait as they were custom made and then shipped assembled wrapped in blankets. They’ve promised me they’ll last as hand-me-downs to my great-grandchildren and I believe it.

I’ve had a hard time finding rugs that I think will fit the space, so currently there are none. As I feared, finding stuff that matches with that particular color of black-green is not the easiest.

Congrats for getting all the way through this (or skipping to the end), here are some links:

• I’ve read that Martha Stewart didn’t like how her documentary turned out, but I really enjoyed it! I’ve always been a full Martha fangirl (I have ALL of the OG Blueprint magazines, they’re still wonderful today), and also fully recognize she’d be difficult to be married to or work for. I hate that men are praised for the same behaviors & standards she is criticized for.
• I watched the Menendez Brothers Documentary and fully sobbed. I know there’s a movie out as well, but I’m not sure I can handle the dramatization of the abuse they endured. The documentary is great. I remember their case being in the news throughout the 90s, and reflected how little we, as a nation, understood about abuse, especially a father abusing sons. It’s heartbreaking to see clips of late night shows and skits making fun of the brothers.
• We watched Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves for movie night and it was so much fun! I’m sad to hear it didn’t do well at the box office so we won’t be getting a sequel. Absolutely hilarious, even if you’ve never played the game. Fully recommend to anyone who likes fantasy tropes, and what a star-studded cast!
• Did I ever talk about reading the Discovery of Witches series? Or watching the TV series? I have NOTES. Here are my book reviews: Book One, Book Two, Book Three. The TV series handles a few things better (like grief!) and fixes some of the pacing. I think I recommend these if you will be entertained by both the similarities to & improvements on Twilight lore.
• SPEAKING of Twilight lore: Sarah Elizabeth Talks on Instagram does unhinged deep dives into Twilight and it’s so entertaining and funny. I say this about to queue up the first movie for a marathon with my kids because it snowed today. I know there are a lot of memes about fall being hoa-hoa-hoa season but it feels like more of a wintery re-watch for us for some reason.
• I found the Truly Devious series (YA mystery) absolutely delightful and I will be reading more when the author releases book six. Does anyone have more YA mysteries they’d recommend? I tried A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder and did not like.
• (Whispers this part) I was very sad to not love The Life Possible by Matt Haig.🙈 I haven’t said this out loud anywhere (except for right here) because I adore Matt and he is very delicate and reads reviews. I will still read anything he writes and cherish The Midnight Library as one of my most important grief books.
• If you are sad about the state of our country and would like to feel a bit sadder, I recommend this very short/light listen: The Finnish Guide to Happiness. I listened to it the day after election day and wondered how hard it would really be to move to a tiny country where they probably eat a lot of fish (I hate fish, but at this point could learn to like it for national healthcare).
• We are very lazy skywatchers over here, but the November sky has been so lovely! We like the Sky Tonight app (also on Android).
• It’s Nanowrimo again and I’m crying nightly over my manuscript. So this made me laugh: This Week’s Punctuation Power Rankings.

A note for my premium subscribers: I am deep in it, y’all. I got to the point in the Matthew story where it was important to break out the letters Eric and I wrote to each other before we met. CUE THE GRIEF WAVES. I cried for two weeks straight. I am close though! If I don’t get the next installment out before the end of November, you have permission to fork my lawn.