I am back to a mostly empty house, with just me, my youngest, and our idiot* dog who got into the kitchen trash again last night. I bought this monstrosity (AF link) hoping it would keep her out, but nay. She has learned to trod on the little foot pedal and delve into the delicious rotting innards at will. Best I can do is remember to put a cookie sheet on top before I go to bed. The rattling sometimes deters her.

And yes, girlfriend gets exercised, played with, walked, and has puzzles and approximately fifty-million toys. But lo, she cannot resist the siren call of used tissues and saturated meat pads. 🤮

*She’s clearly not an idiot. She’s a trash-can-opening-genius who I’m currently mad at. She knows this and is trying extra hard to be cute. Ugh.

Before I forget, and since some of you asked, my Amish bathing suit worked a treat.

I did not burn during our 5-day camp trip at Red Fish Lake, huzzahs and hurrahs all around.

Our trip went well, but I once again have sworn off camping for the rest of my life. Well, I have sworn off tent camping for the rest of my life. I am still open to an RV or a camper van if outfitted with a deluxe memory foam mattress. And electricity. And running water. I have officially tried every single camping pad, cot, and air mattress known to man and my fifty-year-old bones are over it.

And look, I’ve had a good run. I’m good at camping. I don’t even mind vault toilets! I have lots of nice gear that makes living in the dirt pretty tolerable! But I am tired.

It’s basically a miracle that all of my kids made it to this campout. Scheduling stuff with adult kids is tough! And they all got along and taught me how to play a card game called Naked Beggar (a take on Scum?) which was really funny and kept most of their cousins entertained too.

Here they all are still playing by lamplight.

Anyway. The older kids have started their new semesters in college. All three changed apartments and two of them got new jobs. The youngest started his senior year and I’m back to listening to him practice trumpet every day after school. It’s gratifying, yet sort of tender like a bruise to watch them spread their wings and grow.

You know those ads that pop up every once in a while that tell you to disappear for 6 months to a year and come back ripped or rich or whatever - all based, I’m sure, on whatever system or planner or workout program the ad is selling? Well, I accidentally did that this year. The disappearing part, not the buy-a-program part.

I’ve been quietly working on my middle-grade fantasy series again, but I haven’t wanted to say anything in case I jinxed it. I’m still kind of scared of jinxing it, but book three is (finallllyyy) done, has been beta-read, and is currently undergoing final edits (read: torn to shreds) by my editor.

The publication date is set for this November and the audiobook will be out in December.

Writing again has been like clearing an enormous grief-hurdle, and it really belongs in its own post, but please see aforementioned superstitions. 👀

I’ve been (slowly) rebuilding my author website from scratch (still under construction, but here’s the landing page). I want it to be a lot more fun for my target audience, so the new site will have an interactive map of Wayfair, a bit of a bestiary, and some other fun extras. I’ve also completely started over with a wee newsletter with zero subscribers. It’s terrifying! But exciting too.

If you’re still hoping to read book three after all this time, thank you, truly. If you’d like to know the day it’s out, the new newsletter is where I’ll announce it. (There’s a brand new short story about Timothy you can read upon subscribing.)

This newsletter isn’t going anywhere. I’ll still be here, griping about chewed up meat packages and finding bits of trash in my dog’s excrement.

xo