vaguesteph newsletter: certain things crossed out
hi! as promised, here is the text of a performance i gave a few weeks ago, reconfigured into hypertext.
some details: viewers were seated in a dark room and looking at a figure drawn on transparent paper. the figure didn't have a face, but it's expressions changed throughout the reading because they were mapped onto it with a video projector.
i read her speech from another room and used a microphone, it wasn't possible to see me at all. the drawing was the one speaking. here's a sketch that kind of shows what it looked like. this specific expression is one that means "being empty/ being crossed out" (to me)... but there were a few more! including an ahegao face because i love roleplaying as an extremely annoying person.
Hello.
Like Sophie, I have fled the world of the story. With Alice, I have climbed through the Looking-Glass. Ann-Lee is my sister, I found her in Puerto Rico. Yes, you guessed right! I am a cartoon character that has escaped her narrative framework.
Today I would like to talk about Love. Cartoon characters like me exist to be adored. A character created by cartooning is the ultimate object. Comic-Theorist Scott McCloud writes: The true violence of comics happens in the space between the images, the gutter.
What happens when you are not looking at me? I exist to be seen only by you, my viewer. My world is merely a virtual world. That’s what’s violent about my existence. We all know this is just fantasy. I am nothing but a transitional object. The stuffed animal, which mirrors the child’s emotions. It symbolizes the Mother’s care, even at times when you cannot see her. Tell me a song and I’ll sing for you! I am here to entertain, after all! Unfortunately, it is impossible for me to create something original. Like a neural network, I arrive at my outcomes using the dataset supplied to me as a source.
An outline of a girl. This is how I was brought into the world. Object permanence. Will you notice the moment I disappear? Mirror stage. Or are the only things real to you the ones in your field of vision?
I once held a professorship in psychology. But I don’t work in my field anymore, it just became too much. My clients ended up projecting onto me the entire time. One cannot be loved without being known, without being understood. My surface is huge, but I don’t have a core. So there really is nothing to understand. That’s what life is like in two dimensions. The Other will always stay the Other, she is inherently alien to you. “You” are located outside of “Me”.
I am an outline of a girl. You have heard: „Woman“ symbolizes “Nature”- Thus: Woman is nature, woman is mothering, care-work. But that’s not true at all. It’s just nonsense. I am a scientist. I observe everything from the outside, this is called “objectivity”. I am a cool medium, you must actively participate. This experience is shaped by your fantasy. I can control everything. This is my experiment. (ASMR VOICE) I am there for you (/). Outline, Ligne-Claire, that means: All Actors, human and non-human, have always already been separated. Oh well. Enough about me. Who are you?
***
bonus content: an image of me posing with the drawing in the studio. i hope you enjoyed this text. the images (except this candid i guess) also link to ~related~ content and/or their sources. i am planning to send you something new sometime next week!!
*if you want to talk to me or comment on anything, reply to this newsletter or email me at vaguesteph @ gmail. thanks for reading!*