Tris Talks... September newsletter!
I almost started this newsletter with the phrase I don’t know where August went, which should tell you something about my current perception of time.
In my mind, it’s still the middle of summer. I have no idea how we got to the last day of September, a week and a half into fall. I keep thinking I have my arms around life now, I can slow down and plan something and then, before a plan can be made, it’s two weeks later and I’ve handled a few more emergencies.
I understand that having ADHD means my sense of time is warped to begin with. Three years can pass in a blink of an eye, while I keep moving forward that same task that needed to be done Right Now and never gets done. But this feels different.
It feels very out of control, and it has, for a long, long while.
This week’s drama is comprised of health (mine)—I got a cold over the weekend, and while the fever’s been gone for a bit, my sinuses are jealously retaining all their goo—and health (cat)—our tiny cat ALSO got a cold on top of her own usual sinus issues and stopped eating, but is doing better now and yet, requires constant vigilance—and some family things I’m not comfy discussing in the newsletter.
I think I’m tired? Yeah, I’m tired.
As it is the end of September, the question that has cropped up in all of my writing servers is the ever cheery and what are your plans for the final quarter of the year? How do you want to finish up?
I keep staring blankly at the screen. At my wall of tasks that hasn’t been properly updated since um… May? And I cannot seem to wrap my head around planning.
After all, nothing is under my control. And I am utterly exhausted by planning to do things that do not get done, because of things outside of my ability to control.
Wow, this is sounding negative. I’ll blame the headache (sinuses, again, I’m tired of them, too).
Instead, let’s set some goals here in public, and I’ll check back in monthly to see how I’m doing. Hold me accountable, won’t you? These are for the final quarter, due by December 31st.
Self care: make an appointment to get my hair cut and colored (bonus: have it set for before end of year and DO IT)
Household: deconstruct the “closet” in the basement and construct the Ikea shelving (bonus: organize the new craft area and set up the sewing machine)
Writing: edit and return ITS when I get it back from DPP, and yes, that means turn it around quickly this time (bonus: brainstorm and outline anything)
There we go, three major goals for the final quarter of the year. Things that really REALLY need to be done. Top hits from a very long list.
I think my true goal for the next few months is to feel time passing. To be aware of what’s going on around me, and to be able to accomplish things from my endless to do list. To feel some small sense of control.
It’s funny, because I think that a large part of the reason I write is to have a world that I do control. Everything within the worlds in my mind belongs to me. I mean, yes, I say that the voices often go off in unexpected directions, but in the end, they are my directions. They are my voices.
And yet, when life is like this constant rollercoaster, creating feels impossible. That will change, I know. Control what I can in this moment, for now.
Anyway…
Writerly progress made…
I attended Albacon and it was wonderful! I joined Broad Universe after; there was much encouragement. I had a great time on my panels, including the one I moderated. I was very busy!!
I am starting to make plans for next year’s convention schedule, and I will post about it when things are set in stone rather than silly putty. I’m hoping for a fun year.
I caught up on updating my writing budget spreadsheet. Yes, this is writing progress! I found expenses that were missing. I took a long look at what is costing me money as a writer, and what is working. Part of this was in preparation for the panel I modded, but part of it was simply that I needed to get my arms around it ahead of tax time. I need to be much better with the details than I am. I will say, if I didn’t attend conventions, I’d be a lot closer to making this work financially.
I am working on redesigning some pages on my professional website to make them work better. Specifically the bibliography page, which was a mess and not very professional looking. Hard to read, hard to find anything. Terrible advertising. It’s… not done. So it’s even messier now. But I’m trying! I need more time.
That’s about it…
What’s happening next…
I have no conventions until 2026. Right now, the path ahead of me looks like surviving fall semester, and getting through the holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas). I’ve taken some planned time off, and I’m very much looking forward to spending the final two weeks of the year not needing to day job (woohoo!!).
I think back to how peaceful May was, when I let myself do nothing but write fanfic. It’s very tempting to give myself another month like that, or even a weekend (what are non-busy weekends?). But I haven’t planned for that time right now.
What I’d like to do is settle in with the projects that need to be written and get them outlined. (How many times have I said this now?). It’ll happen.
But in the meantime, I’m avoiding planning too much so that I can also avoid feeling guilty about failing to get things done when my plans get rerouted. This seems like a healthy coping mechanism at the moment.
And in closing…
If you’re curious to see snippets as I work, all levels of my Patreon are treated to early chapters of PHU when it is posting, as well as behind-the-scenes looks at works in progress.
Come find me on social media if you want to chit-chat or just hear me natter on about life, writing, and fandom. I’m tryslora everywhere!
Thank you for reading Tris Talks...!
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