Top Dogs of 2024
I liked when the dogs were totally normal, totally carefree, or chose the perfect length of stick. Or when they had steeltrap memories, made many many friends, stuck up for one another, and competed fiercely. Did I mention very normal. Helpful at the store and at home. Gorgeous and intelligent. A real ride or die. They loved the banana box. I also enjoyed when they were generous, honest, demure and out of the way. They were, as ever, on the news. They were even sung to by thee Danny Elfman! The most perfect thing. It was very nice.
Here are the Top Dogs of 2024
Güero
“They gave this to me, and now it lives in my house.”
Just a delightful plop plop sound for you
Where does the branch even end?
“Are you cuddling with Kevin or are you biting him?”
This elusive neighbor
The Babadoog
Nova
“Show me your bad dog”
“The bloody dog, he’s been so bad today, he’s not fucking listening to me”
Julia
How I’m entering 2025
Poor ol’ Bill
Piper, who hates Liberty Mutual commercials so much…
click through for more
Buba
“[She] thought up the game herself, according to her owner.” Buba hangs out on a balcony in Łódź, Poland and entraps passersby into playing fetch with her by dropping her ball off the balcony in front of them.
Dog who loves tennis
Dogs who ran the NYC marathon
This wasn’t even the only one!!!
Bertie Bert The Pom
Long before crypto bros tried to tamper with the NYC Dog Mayor election, real New Yorkers knew Bertie as the longtime resident pup of the gallery The Hole. I’ve loved his sweet little face for years, and was heartbroken to learn that he crossed over late in 2024 at the age of 11. Rest easy, sweet Bertie.
Reed & Aspen, two dogs with JOBS
Their job is to run after geese to shoo them away from pooping on the lawn. “The dogs can spend up to two hours at a time chasing the geese.”
Apollo
“‘He just stood there confidently, like he was king or maybe pharaoh of the hill,’ Mr. Lang said.” This dog ran all the way to the top of the Pyramid of Khafre in Egypt, which I think is pretty cool.
Messi
The portrayer of Snoop in Anatomy of a Fall and winner of the Palm d’Og (update: it is supposedly styled “Palm Dog” but c’mon) is an actor so good that even though I had already been warned that Snoop endures some peril but ends up totally fine, I believed wholeheartedly in every excruciating second of that scene. I know this movie came out in 2023, but 2024 was Messi’s year.
I loved every second of his victory lap, from his underdog narrative (“Messi was a misunderstood artist. He had a lot of trouble getting roles.”) to celebrity run-ins (“When Ryan Gosling was introduced to the dog, the supporting actor nominee put a hand to his heart and walked away for a moment, overcome.”) and playing fetch literally anywhere. Three cheers for our boy!
Best in World! 
As always, and because this newsletter focuses primarily on internet dogs, I want to especially shout out all the dogs I know and love IRL: Rosey, Valerie, Wessex, Blue, Ava, Stella, Peggy, Chubbs, Lyra, Stevie, Gumbo, Ogden, Dr. Waffles, Steve, Bev, Six, Rory, Taco, and Molé. I miss you sweet Caly.
I insist on the dog bothering me,
Eleanor
Postscript
As a bonus of sorts, I do want to include a few Top Dogs I met in real life.
Earlier this year I took a trip to Bogotá and the surrounding areas. Ostensibly, I went there to look at birds. (Colombia is the birdiest country in the world — there are nearly 2,000 different species and counting.) I saw many great birds, top birds even. What I did not anticipate is that there would also be many extremely good dogs.
Mambé
Coco
Way up high at Sumapaz National Park, there lives a dog who guards the páramo and all creatures who live there. No one knows where he came from, or how long he’s been there. Maybe he’s always been there. It gets cold up on the mountain, so locals and visitors started feeding him. Some others built him a shelter. Added a sign. And now everyone says hello when they pass by him on the dusty road in the Eastern Andes.
The gentleman of El Tabacal
Pinina
Still here? OK here’s one more: “Sadie, nobody cares.” (Boy I miss vine.)