Top Dogs of 2022

2022 in trends

This year, dogs enjoyed elaborate holiday presents. 


They made friends with many birds.

They were fierce competitors.

They absolutely lived for every moment of drama.

 

Hall of Fame Tweets

@KeatonPatti's dog memes are so good that I started fact-checking this one before realizing it was a joke. 

Luckily the good people of Normal Gossip dedicated a whole subscriber episode to this story.

 

 

This Dog in Esoteric Filmic History

(With respect to this great podcast.)

Now it's time for the Top Dogs

20. Every introvert

19. This dog who doesn't know he's in Vogue


18. This Fashion Girlie at the Met Gala
17. Nellie from Heartstopper

A good ally.

16. This dog who has its very own Emotional Support Human


15. This American Coot
14. Tubs who is friendly and would love a gentle pat


13. This Odd Being


12. We like him, we really really like him



11. Basil


10. Sausalito, a comrade

9. Laika, who was interviewed on Brazilian news while enjoying the beach 8. Pacato, who tried to do a crime but failed 

Brazil produced not one but two Top Dog entries in 2022. According to UPI, two stray dogs were caught on security cameras attempting to steal a stuffed sheep from a toy store in São Paulo. The shop owner, Marcos Soler, named the dog "Pacato," and "jokingly made a "wanted" poster for the stray dog."

But this had happened before!!! "He said Pacato was not the first stray dog to visit his store — another canine was previously successful in stealing a smaller stuffed toy."


7. This extremely helpful dog! 

Here's the beginning, and the thrilling conclusion.

 

6. Ollie, who became emotionally attached to his pumpkin

A love story in four acts: I, II, III, IV.

5. Balto, who's high af


4. Luna, who knows how to throw her own poop away

Shot: 

Chaser: 

3. Soft, an escape artist

[The ALT text is too many characters for TinyLetter so it's a tweet that says: "apparently our dog has slowly cut a hole in our bedroom window shawshank style while we are out and has been letting herself out on the roof and just makes sure she’s back downstairs in her bed by the time we get home. only found out because our neighbor snapped this picture."]

This dog apparently also jumped on to a counter to grab a knife, dressed like a lion, and is absolutely unstoppable.

2. This package that has been delivered

1. Hawkeye, the bougie rescue dog

"I have never heard anybody talk about how good it feels when your rescue dog gets bougie," said Tiktok user @kmhofman about her 9-year-old Hawkeye. "You have healed their inner puppy." Kat goes on to talk about how when she first got him, it took her a long time to figure out what he liked to eat.

Now, however, he demands an elaborate meal prep ritual: Kat has to stir his fancy food, pretend to season it, and pretend to microwave it so he thinks it's cooked, otherwise "he won't touch it." And true to his name, Hawkeye watches to make sure it's done correctly every time. 

I just love imagining how long it must have taken to figure out each step in this laborious process.

 

Closing thoughts

Maybe the voice effects on Tiktok are a good thing, after all.

Look at these! And as you make your way in 2023, be flexible. Keep trying. Stay freaky. Love your children. Shoot for the moon. Stay cool. Get cozy and take a nap. Wear a mask. Support local journalism. Protect each other. Don't eat anything too weird. And if you find anything unusual, just go with it. (Unless it's a lime.) It's okay to be a grumpy little gremlin sometimes. Perhaps you will become The Grinch. Perhaps you will wreck havoc. Perhaps you will participate in a snowboarding tournament. Perhaps you will find a nice stick. Perhaps you will be rescued by Hilary Swank. Give Elton John whatever he wants. "Pavlov is smiling." This person has the best job in the world.

As always, I'd like to acknowledge the dogs I know and love in real life: Rosey, Ava, Blue, Bella, Chubbs, Gumbo, Peggy, Steve, Puddy, Dr. Waffles, Ronnie, Mabel, Ogden, Mase, and Lemon & Lucy. May Olive's memory be a blessing. And Noodle's, and Frida's, too. Once a Top Dog, always a Top Dog.

And introducing...

I have a nephew!!!!!! His name is Wessex King and he is the king of my heart. We first met in a Brooklyn park where he was more interested in trying to chase the rats than befriending me, but after several hours he let me pet him for the first time. And now, whenever we see each other, he does a little dance and wags his majestic tail and then flops on his back so I can pat his belly. He is a model. When he walks he looks like the pranciest gentleman. He likes checking in on the local neighborhood chickens to make sure the mean loud subway isn't bothering them. He is not a baby, he is a little man (he is four), but he is also secretly baby. I love him so much. (This is me, with Wes.)

Here is Wes in donut mode.

And here is Wes looking so happy while watching Bros. 

That's it for 2022. See you in a year.

Please, for the love of god, send me your dog's progression of nicknames.

Til then, I'm heading into 2023 at 128 beats per minute — 
Eleanor