Top Dogs of 2020
(note: all images link out to their sources unless otherwise noted. be sure to click *display images*)
This year was very hard and bad. But the dogs were good. May these Top Dogs brings you a moment's respite, and hopefully a cleansing laugh, before the fight continues on. I love you.
Before we get to the list, I want to give a special commendation to a Top Dog who's now retired.
It's that gleefully mischievous cover boy Kratu, of course, who ran his final Crufts rescue dog agility challenge back in March and somehow — somehow — even managed to top his own Top performance from 2019.
In retirement, Kratu's been busy as an Ambassadog for autism awareness, animal aid, and even Parliament. Kratu's human Tess told Top Dogs that Kratu "remains steadfastly the goodest boy ever" but added that he's also "incredibly naughty. Always up to no good, he opened his own present when he found it last week and ate it all."
Congratulations Kratu on your viral fame and retirement, and may 2021 bring nothing but pawsitivity your way.
Without further ado, here are your Top Dogs of 2020.
21. Greyhound Greyhound
20. Biscuit, beautiful dog friend of Kelis
19. Dog who does not accept net
18. Long Arm Boi who loves this brick
The Portuguese translates literally to "people my dog is thinged," which Friend of Top Dogs Julia Furlan says is like saying "My dog is having a moment."
17. Spitfire, who did a great leap
16. Benji
Benji is a blue heeler often seen wandering in and out of yoga practitioner Adriene Mishler's YouTube videos at his leisure. When Adriene is in Downward Dog, there's Benji, looking out the window. Maybe Adriene is talking viewers through a meditation; Benji is regarding a nearby plant. Adriene's in a headstand. Benji is asleep.
15. Bailey
Bailey had a big year. He demanded to be on the news.
...a few times.
But my favorite Bailey moment is when he (allegedly) stole a burrito.
Bonus: Baby Bailey.
14. #FlipTheSwitch Dog
Here are a bunch more that are also delightful.
13. 4oe Thee Frenchie
4oe seems extremely chill when it comes to fame. Sure, last year he may have peed on Megan Thee Stallion's BET Awards dress, but that's in the past. Now they go everywhere together, dress up together, and make music together. Plus, he gets along great with his siblings.
12. Finley, who broke the Guinness World Record by holding 6 tennis balls in his mouth at one time
According to USA Today, Finley has "learned to use his paws to wedge up to six balls into his mouth on his own." This particular photo features only five balls, but here he is with all six. Congratulations, Finley!
11. Zongchai
Zongchai is the Shiba Inu spokesdog for Taiwan's Ministry of Health and Welfare who reminds people to regularly social distance and wash their hands. Zongchai—"a pun that roughly translates to mean 'chief shiba' and 'chief executive,'" says Quartz—has not only become a sensation, but his campaign has been quite effective, and perhaps the US should take note.
10. Dog (?) who joyfully recorded its own phone heist
This human was minding their own business, setting up their phone to record a yoga session, when this fuzzy little fluffball grabbed the phone in its mouth and ran off, laughing hysterically, pointy ears flapping in the wind. Thus ensued a merry chase.
— excuse me, I'm getting a breaking report that this is, in fact, a fox. Not a dog. I repeat. A fox.
OK. Well, I guess since foxes and dogs are related by way of the Canidae family ... I'll let it slide, just this once. (click through, *sound on*)
9. Bród
Longtime Top Dogs subscribers know that one of my favorite kinds of Top Dog is the kind that interrupts otherwise fancy, serious events and demands attention. Bród, whose human happens to be the President of Ireland, is this kind. According to Matt Sterling, this fluffy Bernese "enters room of 100 people to look for his owner, walks through everyone to find him, is very happy to do so and demands a belly rub during an official event." Proud of u, Bród. (click through, *sound on* Video shot by @RazanIbra_)
8. This Dog who DID NOT commit voter fraud
Read the whole story here. In other election news, a French bulldog was newly elected mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky.
7. This Dog who DID NOT eat the spaghetti
(click through, *sound on*)
6. Dog who loves Reddi-wip
I tracked down what appears to be the original post on Reddit, where people are asking the tough questions:
5. Butter dog, the dog who grabbed an entire pound of butter and would not let go
Look at the calm expression on this dog's face. Just ... absolute determination to hold on to that butter. (click through, *sound on*)
4. The dog who is ready for anything
(click through, *sound on*)
3. Willow & Preston, who believe in teamwork
First, the dog in the lower righthand corner notices another dog trying to lift a giant stick... *ears alert*
(click through, *sound on*)
2. Spanky, who did a good hide
(click through, *sound on*)
1. Brody, Meteorologist Dog
(click through, *sound on*)
In under 2 minutes, Brody managed to: interrupt a live local weather broadcast, whack the computer with his head and break the maps, realize he was on TV, strike a pose, instantly get bored...
...become interested in whatever is happening behind the camera...
... look for Craig outside the window, get us a little behind-the-scenes look at the home set-up, and CRAIG WHERE TF ARE YOU.
Brody's human Paul reported later that Brody did indeed finally find Craig. Eagle-eyed viewers also pointed out the framed photo of a golden retriever on Paul's desk.
Paul confirmed that the dog in the photo is their late friend Sparky and that Brody appreciates all the attention. Quarantine life seems to be suiting Brody just fine.
I want to give an honorable mention to the dogs who met frogs, discovered themselves, crossed the line into conscious existentialism, did what they wanted to do all day, were too hilarious to be scary, courted big Hollywood directors (even if they had no chill), and became art critics. This is for the dogs who spoke their minds, and the ones who did not care to comment. The tiny dancers and the ones who are hard to put into boxes. The ones who loved the attention, loved the challenge, and loved dinner. The ones who even wondered who let them out.
Against all odds, dogs were optimistic. They protested. They went to the beach. They grew. Some got really into home fitness. Some spent a lot of time on the couch. Hopefully they found something relaxing to watch on tv. Sure, they got a little bored and hungry and thirsty sometimes, and they even were prone to interrupt. But they always found their way back into our hearts and heads. It's the little things, y'know?
My wish for your 2021 is that you get money and treats. That your cup runneth over. That you consider the source. Wear a mask. Wash your hands. Care for others. Stay sharp and know when to demand a lawyer. And when you get stuck or feel broken, look deep within yourself and be gentle, so gentle. I want for you all that is soft/delicious. We can hold hands (metaphorically) and do this together. And if you eat all the Kraft singles, it's ok.
Looking forward to the day when we'll get to pet some dogs, touch noses, and leap into the pool like Jack.
Challenge accepted,
Eleanor
PS. Like many of us stuck at home this year, I've taken up birding. Birds, man. They're so cute and so weird and so mysterious and I want to pet them. (Don't worry, I won't.) I love when birds are friends with dogs. So I'm putting this free idea out there — one of you should start a Top Birds of the Year newsletter. I will be your first subscriber.
PPS. If you enjoy Top Dogs, consider making a donation to and/or volunteering with your local neighborhood mutual aid fund. Your neighbors (and their dogs) will appreciate it.
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