January 21, 2022 – Thornbury
We generally seem able to identify misogyny, but often struggle to understand its purpose. Certainly I do. I'd even say I've come to be able to predict it and accept it when it does occur. I've grown able to depersonalise it; to understand when I am the target of it that it says more about the speaker than about me — and yet I find myself sometimes confounded by it, in particular when it offers what seems at first glance to be a logical contradiction. For example, I've been told I'm both "too emotional" and "not emotional enough" by male superiors. How can both be true?
Kate Manne theorises in this book that misogyny is the policing arm of patriarchy, in that it serves to reinforce the power structure by regulating the economics of feminine coded goods (namely love, affection, caregiving) and masculine coded rewards (power, status, influence).
When women violate the power structure patriarchy needs by either not fulfilling the caring role or reaching for the forbidden rewards, they encounter misogyny, which serves to disincentivise this norm violation.
That could look like disgust, character assassination, mocking — or more dangerously like rape, murder or other forms of erasure, in particular when the norm violation has the effect of (intentionally or not) humiliating a man.
Her precise and deep analysis looks at various touchpoints you'd be familiar with: Trump, Hillary Clinton's campaign, Julia Gillard's treatment by the Australian media and public, Elliot Rodger's killing spree, Gamergate and more.
This book connected some dots for me and helped me better understand — and in future, predict — the relentless hurdles, criticisms, and impossible puzzles that patriarchy places in front of women (and folks other than cis men). The policing arm of patriarchy keeps its knee on our necks when we dare to be anything other than infinitely giving.
I would love to read Manne's thoughts on a new world and how we might break free of this stranglehold, or at least experiment with ways to strip it of its seemingly incomprehensible power. Understanding its logic is certainly the first part — now what?