Internet Todo List for Enthusiastic Thinkers, S2E02

Ed. I'm working on a longer piece on my numerous grievances with live music. Turns out I had a mini-essay in me just on drums. I hope you find it amusing and/or agreeable.

Let's talk about the actual music again. In particular, drums. Drums, my friend, are a lie. They do not sound like you think they do. What you hear on the radio and on albums are the results of trained sound engineers using microphone and equalizer tricks to make drums sound decent.

This is problematic for two reasons. First off, drums are really loud in the hands of an enthusiastic player. Often quite a bit louder than your typical amplifier. Thus, it's guaranteed you're going to hear a lot more drums than guitars, horns, strings, or vocals at a live music event. I take that back; I guarantee you that you will not be able to hear strings at any music club you ever go to, but I'll come back to that.

The more problematic aspect of a drum kit is you're going to hear raw drums when you go to a live music event. Very little microphone tricks or equalizer cleverness; the drums may not even be isolated. That means the snare is going to sound like a can of beans getting hit with a stick. The toms will sound like someone banging on an empty box. The cymbals are going to sound like a mad person beating on pots and pans.

If you're anything like me, you're not going to enjoy them drums.

I am happy to note that, if you're lame like me and only go to see performers who have been around the block dozens of times, you're going to have a much better drum experience. Less prominent musicians are starting to tour with just one accompanying performer and that person is not playing a drum kit. The A-list performers have really good drummers (Paul McCartney's drummer is a blast to watch) and the sound engineers on the tour are excellent.

Ed. Coming soon, you can look forward to similar rants on "It's too loud", "It's always running late", "It sounds terrible", "It's not mysterious", "It sucks to stand for hours at a time", "It's hard to know if opening acts are terrible", and "It's no fun interacting with crowds of people".