TPO#4: Is it Enough?
A Blurred Background
I'm not sure Bokeh altogether works as a film. The 2017 feature, which stars It Follows' Maika Monroe, is ostensibly a sci-fi piece. A couple go to Iceland on vacation, and awake one morning to find everyone has... simply disappeared.
When a film only has two stars, both the performances and the writing have to carry a lot, and in this film I'm not sure either quite can. But perhaps like, say, Danny Boyle's Sunshine, or Anhilation, I think it's one of those films that is still worth watching despite its ultimate failure to cohere.
One reason: at its core, the premise of a world suddenly devoid of others forces one to ask whether another person can ever be enough. Relationships are, after all, situated in a context: of family, friends, the world. And for all the times people have thought "this relationship would be so much easier if it weren't for" some external complicating factor, only having a partner and no-one else is quite a different proposition.
Part of why this intrigues me is that, as someone who has essentially spent his whole life single, I look at this the other way round: that is, to always wonder, nose pressed to the glass, what it is like to have someone to support you, talk to, hang out with, bounce ideas off of etc. But Bokeh instead seems to poke at the idea of the monogamous relationship as everything. And somewhere in that, it feels worth pondering what relationships are for exactly.
Yet, Burning presents a quite different idea of the intersubjective — altogether more bound up in the id, in the kind of scorching desire that, well, burns, consumes, leaves ash behind. The celebrated Korean feature haunted me for days after seeing it, and its idea of connection is one of projection, jealousy, and being subsumed by a diffuse, imaginary thing that isn't quite there.
Somewhere in between those two extremes is what relationships actually are: part phantasy, part pragmatism, and part the basis of a well-lived life. I suppose one way to think about good relationships is the extent to which you balance those various aspects: how much people are able to inspire their partners, ground them, and simply form a base without becoming indispensable. Take it from your ole, perpetually single pal, Nav!
Ahem.
Anyway, both of these films are on Netflix, so I am of course obligated to offer you wine suggestions. This is TPO! So: what I'd suggest is that if you want something light, a slightly effervescent Vinho Verde. Drink the whole bottle. It's, like, 9%. But for something a bit more off-kilter — something more suited to the simple indeterminacy of desire — a Viogner, perhaps from Chile. Floral, citrusy, rich, contradictory. Why white wine? I'm not sure. Perhaps the clarity of it: something cleansing, something clear amidst the murk.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to Ottawa. I like the Canadian capital a lot. It has a strangely pleasant officious feel, with a compact downtown full of the kinds of good-but-not-great restaurants and bars you often find in smaller cities. (A TPO Recommends aside: Beckta.)
But I was there to give a talk as part of the Walrus Talks series. The topic of my little schpiel was — wait for it — technology and the good life. It's been on my mind! The talk, which is above, was very much about my own blog-era feelings about this topic: that it is better to find those spaces and moments in which technology can deliver beauty rather than just stuff.
Anyway, here's a funny thing: ACE Bakery is an Ontario-based bakery that has become the defacto "gourmet" bread at grocery stores around here. It's often reasonably good. But for some reason, they have recently introduced something called the ACE Breadblox — a breadbox-like thing that instead of holding loaves, instead has slots for phones... and blocks Wi-Fi and cell signals from penetrating. Hence the name: Breadblox.
This is the kind of thing I would have scoffed at some years ago, and even now I still think it's hilarious. But, for one, it's sold out! Clearly people want it. And for another, whether or not this specific thing is a good idea — "aww, thanks for the wine! now put your phone in the breadblox, dammit" — it does speak to that newly ubiquitous anxiety about how to carve out places or times in which one is not engaged with the broader world looming on our screens.
I wrote a column loosely on this topic recently: basic stuff about keeping particular apps off your phone, or picking one or two days a week to simply not go online. It's pretty rudimentary, but so is every other form of routine you do to keep yourself living the way you want to. The trick to these things is never quite what to do as much as how to get yourself to do them.
What I'd love to hear is what you personally do to mitigate the overwhelming effects of tech, with a focus on the how rather than the what (though I'm open to either). Email, DM, whatever. I can curate some responses in the next issue.
Ephemera
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Radio Garden is a Google Earth spinning globe populated with radio stations from each little spot on the sphere. The garden is the world of radio, and each bright green spot is a seed. It's sort of incredible.
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Via one of my favourite newsletters, Buckslip, comes this New Yorker tale of how natural wine has become a thing. It's cool on its own, but I think it's most interesting as a way of understanding how trends function through nodes, networks, influence, and wealth.
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I loved reading this David Graeber piece in the NY Review of Books called "Against Economics." Mostly, I have a real soft spot for things that feel like they cut through traditional left-right dynamics to suggest some new-feeling piece of information. In this piece, for example, Graeber lays out the debate over what happens when someone borrows money. Traditionally, economists assert that when take out a loan, it is offset or guaranteed by pre-existing money elsewhere in the banking system. But!
The one thing it never seemed to occur to anyone to do was to get a job at a bank, and find out what actually happens when someone asks to borrow money. In 2014 a German economist named Richard Werner did exactly that, and discovered that, in fact, loan officers do not check their existing funds, reserves, or anything else. They simply create money out of thin air, or, as he preferred to put it, “fairy dust.”
But maybe even more interesting is that Graeber goes back to sixteenth century debates that include Locke and Hume and points out that the seemingly radical policy proposals by Corbyn and the current Labour party — things like a four day work week — are perhaps not as radical as they appear. Anyway, my point is that this historical scale approach to the what feels new in the current moment is intensely satisfying.
TPO Recommends
Hey, that's my bike up there in that picture! Aww. My bike! This will only make sense if you click on one of those links below.
Anyway! For years, I used Intuit's Mint as a budgeting/finance software. It's fine. It lets you get a snapshot look at your finances, in addition to giving you a running tally of your net worth and trends over time.
I think a better option is Emma. The app only exists on your phone rather than being web-based, and I think that's preferable, in part because it limits checking it to one device. But it also is excellent at tracking spending, giving you a heads-up when particular categories are nearing their limits, or if you've eaten out too much in a given month. It is also very friendly, and has excellent support. In short, if you want to get on top of how you deal with money, Emma is a great place to start.
I've written a couple of pieces about money lately (one on losing money and investing, the other on my philosophy of "just buy the good thing") and they are each, in their own way, about the good life. I've always been "good with money" — that is, have never gone into debt, been a wise investor, and just generally lived within my means. But as I approach having been a full-time freelance writer for three years in this very expensive city, that is changing. So: Emma.