#17 - Considering the Caboose
A meditation on last meals and corrosive consequences
As someone who always wonders what food I put in my mouth is going to feel like coming out the other end, I am quite taken with the idea of the last meal. Why? Because there are no livable consequences. You’re going to die anyway, so frankly it doesn’t matter if those chicken nugget bullets and Dorito daggers blast your balloon knot on their way out.
I’m not sure if death row inmates have similar concerns. Regardless, let’s go over a short list of some legendary last meals requested by some of these folks, courtesy of ChatGPT. You be the judge — do they scream piles or pregnancy?
Lawrence Russell Brewer: Executed in 2011, Brewer's last meal request was famously extravagant and included: two chicken-fried steaks with gravy and sliced onions; a triple-patty bacon cheeseburger; a cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, and jalapeños; a bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread; three fajitas; a meat lover's pizza; one pint of Blue Bell ice cream; a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts; and three root beers.
Robert Buell: Executed in 2002, Buell's last meal request was for a single black olive with the pit still in it, a simple and unusual choice.
Stephen Wayne Anderson: Executed in 2002, Anderson requested two grilled cheese sandwiches, a pint of cottage cheese, a hominy/corn mixture, peach pie, chocolate chip ice cream, and radishes.
Thomas Grasso: Executed in 1995, Grasso's last meal consisted of two dozen steamed mussels, two dozen steamed clams, a double cheeseburger from Burger King, half a dozen barbecued spare ribs, two large milkshakes, a pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and a can of SpaghettiOs with meatballs, served at room temperature.
Gerald Lee Mitchell: Executed in 2001, Mitchell's last meal request was for a bag of Jolly Ranchers. He specifically asked for red Jolly Ranchers, but received a mixed bag instead.
For those of you wondering, no, this wasn’t a guest post. I really just wanted to try out the poll feature.
Also, if you can participate in this, you can head to the polls in November and maybe not elect a convicted felon for President. That guy definitely has an out of tune cheese trumpet.