The Magpie #009: The Procrastinator’s Guide to Christmas
Welcome to this week’s edition of The Magpie, a wire service for the weird compiled from the open tabs of writer Alex de Campi. Here’s what’s going on:
Ho ho ho-ly shit it’s the holidays! First a few tabs then I’m going to share some gift ideas for all you slowpokes and last-minute larrys out there.
TABS
Popeye is among the big properties going into the public domain next year so expect a slasher remake to be released ASAP.
This article contains the name “Brianna Chickenfry” (give up, Thomas Pynchon, the absurdity of real life has outrun you) and the phrase “bag-chasing nihilism,” and if you understand all the words in the title then you should probably consider spending less time online.
Family that Succession was based on realizes they don’t have a succession plan by… watching Succession.
One of my favorite art people in the whole world, Shing Yon Khor, made this six-minute documentary about Idaho’s parachuting beavers, and it’s SO FUN:
Also kiddo and I saw FLOW this past weekend and it’s the best animated film I’ve seen all year, hands down—brilliant animation and storytelling, and a world you can get lost in. See it on a big screen if possible—USAians, it’s on limited showings at most Regals. Important note: no animals die or are permanently harmed in the film.
Some mad genius has carefully curated text screen generators for over 270 classic video games. I salute you, obsessive nerd. (Find a game you like/recognize, click on the screen, input your own text, like this:)
The Ancient Greeks: They’re just like us fr. (Fascinating academic paper on question tablets left at the Oracle of Dodona—the shape of human desire really hasn’t changed much over the centuries.)
Moths don’t shag around distressed plants. Yes, this is a scientific fact, sad plants bring down the vibe at the moth orgy.
Good radio/podcast interview about General George Monck, who fought for Cromwell in the English Civil War, then as the Republic crumbled, changed sides to fight for the monarchy.
GIFT IDEAS
For younger kids: membership in this papercraft club ($5/month) and it’s got a whole library of print and fold designs you can make with them. My book Scrapper is good for middle grade but makes kids feel like they’re reading something for older. If your kid has a Switch, get them Pikuniku and then play co-op mode with them—look, I don’t care if you are bad at games, it’s so fun (and funny). One of Andy Frazier’s gorgeous dragon or dinosaur books. A unicorn print from Trungles.
For teens: The Royal Art of Poison makes history fun (and murderous). If you know what “Jayvik” is thanks to them, get them the Art of Arcane book. These Fahlo bracelets track wolves, whales, or other animals of your choice. Work-Life Balance, a novella-cum-comic about Southeast Asian mythical beings as their cultures Westernize. If your kid tears through manga like Demon Slayer, get them the Ultimate Guide to Yokai (Japanese spirits, who come in infinite variety.) The fantastic adventure story that is Squire.
For art people: Liam Wong’s Tokyo photographic art books. The Robert McGinnis book. These great little $5 Diskette Press notebooks—you’ll be hard pressed to decide between the dot grid and the four-panel page one. I’ve mentioned them before but Riley Sheehey’s deck of cards (not a tarot! a normal deck.)
For pet parents: I live for these gorgeous Little Dipper cat bowls—the color Spring is especially lovely. For dogs, we love these Artful Canine martingale collars (I always get the thick ones because I have a big dog). One of Landis Blair’s beautiful pen and ink pet portraits, which is especially good if someone you love lost a pet this year.
For readers of “dad books”: Look, dad-ism is not a gender, it is a state of being involving a deep interest in nonfiction books, often about war. Get them Wide Awake or Oathbreakers. (Dads might also like my action/comedy graphic novel Bad Karma)
Spendy but great: The Haptic Lab “map quilts” and quilt coats (they also do great constellation Xmas stockings); Gardenheir’s Italian gardening clogs and French work jackets; cashmere fingerless gloves from Meg Cohen Design; sweaters and flannels from Imogene + Willie.
For that hateful relative that family harmony requires you to get a present for: A nice gay card and note saying that since they seemed to have everything they needed, you made a donation in their name to Trans Lifeline or to Palestinian mutual aid.
That’s it for this week! Be well, and know that as soon as I hit “send,” I’ll inevitably think of 10 more present recommendations that slipped my mind initially. Sigh…
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"Look, dad-ism is not a gender, it is a state of being involving a deep interest in nonfiction books, often about war." hey,