flex
Hello friend, thanks for opening! This whole Buttondown interface takes some getting used to, so I hope you forgive the lapses :) This week we're talking about flexing on Facebook home groups, "Sana All", late-stage pandemic brain burnout, and the importance of writing things down because we're all going to remember this shitstorm differently. Hope you find something useful here. -K
flex
Manila, 10 April - A friend pointed out a couple of curious sorts of "communities" that appear at the friendly neighborhood Facebook group where people like to showcase what they've done with their houses: The people who go "Sana All", and the people who feel like they're being guilt-tripped by the "Sana Alls" ('Kasalanan ba naming afford namin?')
People are saying they miss the days when the group was more about finding value items online, rather than mansion flexing--photos of renovated bathrooms as huge as small apartments, and "temporary" coffee stations that could rival any Starbucks branch's options.
Well, I came into the group late, so there are no good ol' days to miss, at least for me. And to be honest, I do love some unabashed flexing--I believe houses are reflections of people, and people are definitely interesting. It's just that... well. Just be upfront about it, I guess. The humblebragging is what's off-putting, I suppose. Just lean into it and go to town. After all, what's wrong with being a little proud of the hole you've been stuck in for more than a year?
Certainly, the extended quarantines have forced us to look inward. I admit I never really gave our house that much attention because living in the city meant we were always out at one point or another--at work mostly on weekdays, and out and about on weekends. Most of the time, we were at the park, or out eating at a restaurant or having drinks or just reading at a coffee shop, or mindlessly walking at the mall, or maybe at the gym, or maybe just strolling around the neighborhood streets, feeding the stray cats.
It's insane, how the pandemic practically erased the outside world--for us, at least, and we're even the lucky ones. We're both fortunate enough to be able to work remotely, but it doesn't make us miss the outside world and our old life any less.
Home used to be where we rested. Now it's also where we work, where we try to entertain ourselves when we're trying not to work, where we cook, where we eat and drink our coffee and rage while staring at our phones or our monitors or our unused yoga mat.
The least we could do--least we could take pride in, actually--is the fact that our home looks every bit as liveable, or as liveable as the things we buy online can help us make it out to be, at least.
C and I built most of the things we bought to make our home-slash-office somewhat serviceable--her standing desk and our TV console and a small filing cabinet and our kitchen shelf. Even my chair. The virus has more or less ruled out the possibility of asking store personnel to build on site, and besides--what else is there to do? Tbh, I liked feeling useful. Like I could still make things that don't just exist inside a screen.
But what's harder to build is not necessarily physical--the mental boundaries between work and non-work are practically non-existent. The only time I'm not thinking about work in some form, in all honesty, is when I'm playing Mobile Legends - my brain-clearing activity of choice.
The New York Times says we've all hit a wall.
The longevity of the pandemic — endless monotony laced with acute anxiety — had contributed to a sense that time was moving differently, as if this past year were a long, hazy, exhausting experience lasting forever and no time at all. The stress and tedium... have dulled our ability to form meaningful new memories.
“There’s definitely a change in how people are reporting memories and cognitive experiences,” Professor Rajah said. “They have fewer rich details about their personal memories, and more negative content to their memories.” This means, she said, that people may be having a harder time forming working memories and paying attention, with “a reduced ability to hold things in their minds, manipulate thoughts and plan for the future.”
Add to that a general loneliness, social isolation, anxiety and depression, she said, and it is not surprising that they are having trouble focusing on their work.
No shit, Sherlock. My co-workers and I have been discussing burnout a lot lately; I think it's particularly harder for women who are also in charge of kids and meals and general household administration. It's even more complicated for friends who are also caring for elderly and/or sick family members.
It's also different for those isolating from their respective families, forced apart by the pandemic for so long. I haven't seen our parents for more than a year, and I'm glad I saw my sister briefly in December, pre-holiday madness, when we adopted Luci from the shelter.
That said, I'm beyond grateful I am isolating with a partner, who has thankfully not kicked me out of the house yet for being corny 24/7. Thanks, love. ♥
If we're being honest about it, I don't see the end just yet--no amount of smiling post-vacc selfies from friends on my feed is about to change that, for the time being.
As we speak, the President is rumored to be seeking treatment in Singapore after cancelling this week's presidential presscon. This, as thousands of Filipinos afflicted with COVID-19 struggle to find space in hospitals, overwhelmed as they have been with the surge in cases brought about by the reopening of the economy.
In the middle of all this, some people are trying to legitimize a drug normally used to treat worms in animals as a COVID-19 cure. What is the world coming to?
"You won't remember the pandemic the way you think you will," says The Atlantic.
They're right; everything will be colored by experience, which is exactly why I'm writing throughout this quarantine. I'm sure history will be written (and re-written) by the victors; I'm making sure however that goes, I won't be gaslit out of my own stories.
For your sake, at least, you should too.
This has gotten long; thank you for your patience and for getting this far! Sometimes, I like talking to myself too much.
Have a restful long weekend!
XO,
K
PS: That is all.
