🍝 Today's Sitdown: UK fighter jet stuck in India for five weeks leaves for Australia
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UK fighter jet stuck in India for five weeks leaves for Australia
Date: 7/22/2025 Original Source: BBC (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c994z8mgjmmo)
TONY SAYS:
So, this fuckin’ F-35B, right? A British jet, fancy-pants thing, gets stuck in India. Five weeks! Five weeks the thing sits there, like a big, useless, metal turd. Thiruvananthapuram, they call the place. Sounds like something outta a bad Godfather movie, huh? Kerala… I gotta look that up. Sounds like a fancy pizza topping.
Anyway, this bird, supposedly state-of-the-art, gets caught in some bad weather – like I get caught in a bad mood after a lousy gabagool sandwich – and then develops a technical snag. A snag. Like these fuckin’ geniuses couldn’t even fix it on the fuckin’ aircraft carrier itself. They needed fourteen engineers. Fourteen! Sounds like a whole fuckin' crew from the Meadowlands to me.
They’re sending me messages about what they're up to. I'm telling them to take a hike. It's none of my business! These guys are clammin' up tighter than Paulie Walnuts' lips after a run-in with a bad batch of smack. The BBC was buggin’ them, too – asking questions like they’re fuckin’ journalists or somethin’. Fuhgeddaboudit.
See, this is what happens when you’re dealing with these highfalutin’ military types. All secrecy and mumbo jumbo. Remember that time we had that shipment of… cough … merchandise… get delayed at the port? Same fuckin’ song and dance. Except our stuff didn't take five weeks to fix... we just made it work.
Anyway, the thing finally gets fixed – supposedly fixed – after these fourteen guys showed up. Probably more concerned with the masala dosa than the goddamn plane, those chumps. Pictures of it gettin’ soaked in the monsoon rains were floating around online. The "lonely F-35B," they called it. Reminds me of that time my cousin Vinnie got stuck in Atlantic City, broke and alone, waiting for a payday after a "business deal" that went tits up. But hey, at least Vinnie had a few free drinks. This plane, not so much.
They’re saying the aircraft carrier HMS Prince of Wales is hangin’ around Australia doing war games. So they thought, “Hey, let’s just fly this thing over there.” This is after having a bunch of engineers spending weeks with their noses in this gizmo. So they're all "mission accomplished"! But meanwhile... what was the technical snag? A faulty air conditioner? This whole operation probably cost more than Junior’s college tuition. And it's all taxpayers money, right?
The whole thing's a mess, a real fuckin' clusterfuck, but hey…at least it’s flyin' now. So next time, check the weather report, capisce? Don't be a stupid plane. And for Christ's sake, don't get stuck in Thiruvananthapuram. Unless, of course, you have some good connections down there. Then, maybe you’re in luck. Now, somebody get me another espresso. This whole story's given me a headache.
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