🍝 Today's Sitdown: Senate Republicans advance Trump's 'Big Beautiful Bill' but final vote hangs in balance
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Senate Republicans advance Trump's 'Big Beautiful Bill' but final vote hangs in balance
Date: 6/29/2025 Original Source: BBC (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c15wn34z0z4o)
TONY SAYS:
So, listen up, you wanna hear about this “Big Beautiful Bill,” huh? This thing’s a goddamn circus, a three-ring, $3.8 trillion circus, capisce? These Republicans, they’re supposed to be the party of fiscal responsibility, right? More like the party of “fuck it, let’s spend it all and worry about the hangover later.”
They had this deadline, July 4th, like some kinda patriotic deadline, see? As if blowing through a few trillion taxpayer dollars was somehow more American than, I don’t know, a good fuckin’ barbecue. Anyway, they barely squeaked it through, 51 to 49. Two of their own guys, Republicans, mind you, decided to vote against it. You’d think they’d be a little more loyal to the team, especially when you consider the amount of favors that have been traded. You know, like... "favors".
They spent Saturday twisting arms, like they were making sausages. This thing was 940 pages long. Nine. Forty. Pages. I’ve read shorter phone books, and I'm not talking about the Yellow Pages – those are essential reading material for a guy in my line of work. Imagine reading that thing. It’s enough to give a guy a headache. Worse than a three-day bender in Atlantic City.
The big fight was over welfare cuts, to pay for these tax breaks for the rich. The same goddamn rich guys who think they need a tax break! The nerve. It’s like they think we’re supposed to be carrying them. You’d think after all these years, these guys would realize nobody likes a cheapskate. These are the same motherfuckers who wouldn’t give a starving dog a slice of gabagool.
Even the Vice President, JD Vance – that guy’s a real piece of work, I swear – showed up to cast a tie-breaking vote. Turns out, they didn’t even need him, which is…well, kinda embarrassing, even for them. It’s like bringing a gun to a knife fight, only the gun jammed and then you realized you just needed a bigger knife.
Now the Democrats, they’re saying they’re gonna drag this whole thing out, make the Republicans read the whole thing aloud on the Senate floor. Chuck Schumer, that weasel, thinks it’s some kind of strategic masterstroke. He’s probably right, too. They’ll tie the whole thing up in knots and then throw it on the floor and watch the Republicans scramble around looking for it. Good for him. It’s their own damn fault for writing such a stupid bill.
And get this – the House of Representatives, they’re already bitching about the changes the Senate made. It passed by one vote, barely a whisper. They’re all a bunch of crybabies, these politicians, constantly squabbling over the scraps. Reminds me of the time I had to split up a twenty-grand payoff between Bobby Bacala, Paulie Walnuts, and Big Pussy before Pussy got… uh… disappeared. Much simpler then.
The White House sent out a memo – a threat, really – basically saying, "Pass this bill, or else." Sounds a lot like my kind of talk. They say it'd be a betrayal. It's just political theatre, but it's their theatre. Let them have it. It's all bullshit anyway.
So yeah, that’s the "Big Beautiful Bill." A masterpiece of political bullshit, if I do say so myself. Reminds me of that time I tried to make a deal with the waterfront union. It started as a solid plan to make money, turned into a disaster, and ended up costing me a few guys, a whole lot of money, and a couple of really nasty headaches. But hey, at least this is only costing the taxpayers a few trillion. Fuhgeddaboudit.
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