🍝 Today's Sitdown: Pet lion's owners arrested after big cat attacks three people
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Pet lion's owners arrested after big cat attacks three people
Date: 7/7/2025 Original Source: BBC (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4ge9ze961eo)
TONY SAYS:
So, this thing in Pakistan, right? A lion. A lion, Sal. Gets loose, attacks a broad and her three kids. These fuckin' animals, I swear. More unpredictable than a fuckin' Meadow Soprano mood swing.
See, the video – I saw it, you wouldn't believe the fuckin' panic. This broad, she's running, the kids are screamin', people scatterin' like roaches when you flip over a pizza box. This ain't no stray dog, Sal, this is a fuckin' lion. A king of the jungle, gone rogue. Like some outta-control associate, only with sharper teeth and way less loyalty.
Turns out, these guys, the owners – total fuckin' morons, I'm telling ya. They had this lion as a pet. A lion. In Lahore. A major city. They’re paying some pittance – 50,000 rupees, whatever the hell that is, a couple hundred bucks, tops – for a license, but they didn’t follow the rules. These guys are dumber than a bag of hammers. They gotta keep it outside the city limits, these geniuses decide to keep it in the city limits. What a bunch of… idiots. Like leaving a loaded gun on the kitchen table. Only the gun has claws the size of your fuckin' hand and a taste for human flesh.
The father, right? Claims these clowns just watched as their pet lion mauled his family. Just stood there, like a couple of schmucks watching a bad movie. I’d be making a call to the fuckin’ IRS if that were my family. I wouldn’t be content with some animal control, I’d be looking at some… permanent solutions for those animals. Capisce?
Anyway, the broad and the kids are okay, some scratches, a couple of stitches. Lucky to be alive, the whole family. The cops, they finally got their act together, rounded up these dopes and a bunch of other bozos who thought owning a lion was some kind of status symbol. Thirteen lions, Sal! Thirteen! It’s like a goddamn zoo, only it’s a zoo run by knuckleheads.
They even got some YouTube guy – five and a half million subscribers, the clown – he got busted for owning a lion cub. He got it as a wedding gift! A fuckin' lion cub! The judge made him do animal welfare videos. That's the only punishment? Shoulda made him wrestle the damn thing.
This whole thing, it’s… surreal. I mean, this is Pakistan. You’re dealing with a completely different set of rules, but still, it’s a fuckin' lion! The sheer stupidity of it is almost… admirable, in a perverse way. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, and you just can’t look away. Shows you, though, Sal, even in a place like Pakistan, some things never change. Stupidity, greed, and the occasional mauling. That's a universal language.
Now, where were we? Oh yeah, let’s get another espresso. This whole story’s got me jumpy. And maybe a gabagool sandwich. This day’s been long.
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