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August 22, 2025

🍝 Today's Sitdown: Israel says it will start talks to free all hostages as cabinet approves Gaza City assault

🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝 Where News Gets Made... Tony Style

Israel says it will start talks to free all hostages as cabinet approves Gaza City assault

Date: 8/22/2025 Original Source: BBC (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c754kknw2g2o?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss)

TONY SAYS:

So, this whole Gaza thing, right? It’s a goddamn mess. Reminds me of that time Paulie Walnuts tried to shortchange a shipment of… let’s just say certain goods. Total clusterfuck.

This Netanyahu, he’s playing a tough game, see? Says he’s gonna negotiate for the hostages, all of ‘em. All of ‘em. Sounds good, right? Like he’s the goddamn Messiah, coming down from the mountain with tablets of peace. But then, bam, he also approves a massive attack on Gaza City. A massive assault. Like he’s gonna wipe the whole place off the map, only with a little more… finesse.

Capisce? It’s like he’s sayin’ "I'll talk, but I'll also fuck you up." A real elegant approach, huh? Makes you wonder if he learned negotiation tactics from my Uncle Pat. That old goat would strangle a pigeon for a nickel.

These Hamas guys, they offered a 60-day ceasefire. Half the hostages in exchange. A halfway house, you know? Seems reasonable enough to me… for a start. Maybe these guys aren’t as stupid as they look. But Bibi, he’s not havin’ it. He wants all the hostages, and he wants Hamas neutered, Gaza demilitarized, the whole shebang. The guy wants to completely rearrange the furniture, and you know how I feel about messing with my furniture…

The whole thing is a fuckin' poker game, only the stakes are human lives. And these guys, they ain't playing with chips. They’re playing with…well, you get the picture.

They’re sending negotiators? Sure. But let’s be honest, these are probably just guys who can speak Arabic, and maybe also hold a gun. These ain't diplomats we're talking about. This is the Middle East. You can’t trust nobody.

Israeli media, they're sayin' all this too, but, you know, I’d take it with a grain of salt. Especially the kosher salt. They’re spinning this thing like a top, trying to make Bibi look like some kind of hero. The guy's a politician; they all lie like rugs.

Hamas, they’re calling him out, sayin’ he’s obstructin’ the deal. Well, they ain’t wrong. He's playing both sides, like a real snake in the grass. He's buying time, probably waiting for the right moment to… well, you know… take out the garbage.

This whole thing… it’s a goddamn opera. A tragic opera with explosions and hostages. And the only thing for certain is there's gonna be a whole lot of bloodshed before this is over. I'm gonna need a second espresso. And maybe some gabagool. This is giving me a headache.

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