🍝 Today's Sitdown: Is Perrier as pure as it claims? The bottled water scandal gripping France
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Is Perrier as pure as it claims? The bottled water scandal gripping France
Date: 8/8/2025 Original Source: BBC (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cyvn3qe0jpgo?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss)
TONY SAYS:
So, listen to this cazzo… this whole Perrier thing in France. It's a goddamn mess, see? Bigger than a fuckin' rat infestation in a bakery – and believe me, I’ve seen some rat infestations.
These French guys, they’re selling this “natural mineral water,” right? Evian, Vichy, Perrier… all these fancy labels, charging a fortune. Like they’re pullin’ it straight outta the fuckin’ Alps, untouched by human hands, pure as a virgin’s tears. Bullshit. Pure, unadulterated bullshit.
Turns out, these pricks have been filterin’ the shit outta this water for years. UV light, carbon filters, micro-meshes… the whole nine yards. Like they’re making espresso, not bottled water. They’re worried about contamination, they say – years of drought, climate change, blah, blah, blah. Sounds like a bunch of crybaby excuses to me. It’s a goddamn business, not a charity. You gotta adapt, like a cockroach in a nuclear fallout. You gotta make it work.
This one journalist, Stéphane Mandard – some kinda wiseguy from Le Monde – calls it “Watergate.” The guy’s got a point, I guess. A real Watergate. Only instead of tapes, they’re using filters. And instead of Nixon, you’ve got these fancy French water barons. Only they're not gonna resign; they'll probably just pay off some politicians and keep selling their overpriced, filtered piss. Capisce?
And the hydrologist, this Emma Haziza broad, she’s sayin’ the whole business model ain’t sustainable. Duh! What do you expect? It's the same old story. You build a whole empire on a lie, it eventually comes tumblin' down like a poorly constructed garage. It’s like Livia’s lasagna – tastes great at first, then leaves you with a bad case of indigestion.
This whole thing’s been goin’ on for a year, they say. A third of the mineral water in France was illegally treated. Illegally! The audacity! These guys are playing fast and loose with the EU regulations, you know? "Natural mineral water" – that’s the key, right? That’s the whole sell. The image. Pure, pristine… a scam as old as time. Like this whole "organic" food thing. Half of it's probably grown in a basement somewhere.
Now, the real question is, what happens next? These companies, they're facing a fuckin’ sword of Damocles, like Mandard says. They're gonna get hit with lawsuits, fines… maybe even some… persuasion from the right people. You know, the kind of persuasion that involves a little "convincing."
But hey, at least the water’s safe to drink, right? That's something. Though I wouldn't trust a drop of anything coming outta France without a good thorough check. Even their wine gives me a headache, and you know I don’t shy away from a good Chianti. This whole thing... it’s a goddamn opera, see? A tragicomedy with fancy water bottles instead of swords. And the final act? We’ll see. But it’s gonna be interesting, that's for sure.
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