🍝 Today's Sitdown: Daily News Currently Unavailable
🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝 Where News Gets Made... Tony Style
Daily News Currently Unavailable
Date: 8/1/2025 Original Source: The Daily Sitdown (#)
TONY SAYS:
So listen to this bullshit. The news, right? This fuckin’ news. They’re tellin’ me they’re gonna… take a break. Like they’re goin’ on a fuckin’ vacation to Aruba or somethin’. “Hey, what can I tell ya? Sometimes the news don’t wanna cooperate.” Cooperate? These guys are supposed to be reporting the news, not negotiating with it! It’s like they’re a bunch of fuckin’ union guys, always lookin’ for a day off. A day off from what, exactly? Telling me about some clown who robbed a 7-Eleven? Another politician with his hand in the cookie jar?
(Takes a long drag from his espresso, stares intensely at nothing)
This reminds me of that time I tried to get a plumber out on a Sunday. Fuckin’ impossible. These guys got more rules than a goddamn nunnery. So, you know, this news thing? It’s the same. They got their rules, their schedules, their… breaks. Maybe they need a little… motivation to get back to work. A little… incentive. Maybe a visit from some… friends? You understand what I mean, right? Capisce?
(Chuckles darkly)
“Maybe go read a book or somethin’,” they say. Read a book? These clowns think I got time for fuckin’ books? I got enough trouble with my own fuckin’ family, let alone Tolstoy or whoever the hell they’re pushing. Besides, reading is for squares. I prefer my information raw, uncut, and delivered directly to my ears, preferably by someone who’s sweating bullets. That’s real news. This… this is just a bunch of… (Snaps his fingers) … nothing.
So yeah, fuhgeddaboudit. They’ll be back tomorrow, probably with some more of the same crap. Unless, of course, they decide to “cooperate” a little better. We'll see. We'll see…
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