🍝 Today's Sitdown: Bolivia set to elect first non-left wing president in two decades
🍝 THE DAILY SITDOWN 🍝 Where News Gets Made... Tony Style
Bolivia set to elect first non-left wing president in two decades
Date: 8/18/2025 Original Source: BBC (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4gzlp85432o?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss)
TONY SAYS:
So, listen to this cazz… Bolivia, right? This shithole country down in South America. They’re havin’ an election, a real circus, and it looks like the socialists are gettin’ bounced after almost twenty years. Twenty years! Can you believe it? Makes my twenty years in Jersey look like a goddamn picnic.
This guy, Paz Pereira – sounds like a fuckin’ priest, right? Christian Democrat, the whole nine yards. He’s in the lead, according to the preliminary results. Nobody saw this comin', not even the guys who get paid to predict this shit. They had some other businessman, Doria Medina, as the frontrunner. See, even in Bolivia, these polls are about as reliable as a two-dollar whore.
Now, Pereira, this clown, he’s talkin’ about “capitalism for all.” Capitalism, huh? Sounds like he's trying to sell me a timeshare in Boca Raton. But the slogan… gotta give him that, it's catchy. He's spouting about regional funds, fightin' corruption. Corruption? In Bolivia? That's like sayin' there's a shortage of gabagool in a fuckin' Italian bakery.
The other guy, Quiroga, he's a former president. Briefly, mind you. Interim president, like a fuckin’ temporary manager. He was Vice President under some military dictator, Hugo Banzer – sounds like a character outta one of those old gangster flicks. And now he's back in the game. These guys are like cockroaches, they never really go away.
They’re headed for a runoff in October. So, it’s not over yet. These elections are like a long fuckin’ dinner; you think you’re done, then suddenly, they bring out another course of bullshit.
This whole thing is fascinating, though. Bolivia's got these massive lithium reserves. Lithium, the stuff for batteries. Think about it. Electric cars, laptops, solar panels – the whole shebang. This election, if Pereira wins, means big changes. More foreign investment, probably from the Americans. The Yanks have been pretty frosty with Bolivia for a while now, according to some Congressional report, described relations as "strained", like a fuckin’ wife after a twenty-year marriage to a schmuck.
They’ve been cozying up to China and Russia, which I guess is just their way of saying "Screw you, America". But these capitalists comin’ in? They'll probably be all over that lithium like flies on shit. This election? It’s like a whole new business opportunity for somebody. Maybe me.
So yeah, it’s a big deal. This whole Bolivia situation… it’s complicated, see? But that’s the beauty of it. It's got all the ingredients of a great story: ambition, greed, power, and a whole lotta unpredictable bullshit. Just like the good ol' USA. Capisce?
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