Cruisin' for a Bruisin': How Ships Slip Up On Passengers

When they aren’t busy polluting the planet, cruise ships are pulling into the ports of major tourist centers — many of them at the same place and at the same time…

By Egon E. Mosum

One of the supposedly more romantic methods of travel is by ship.

What was once a risky venture now is a luxury experience within a floating city, where there is food, entertainment, food, drink, food, possible romance, and, did I happen to mention, food?

There are movies made about ocean travel, some tragic, like Titanic, some political, like Ship of Fools, some romantic, like An Affair to Remember.

But if cinematic sea voyages are the stuff that dreams are made of, sometimes the reality of ocean travel is the stuff of nightmares.

We’re not talking about sink or swim situations. We’re going to sail through the tall tales the cruise industry tries to feed its prospective passengers.

The promises made by the cruise industry, the puffery — sometimes they don’t hold water.

While the industry provides pictures of beautiful blue water, the passengers on the cruise ship are producers of ugly black water, the thirty or so liters of raw sewage produced by each passenger every day. 

Then there is the gray water, non-sewage run off from showers, pools, laundry and the like.[1]

That black and gray water gets discharged somewhere in that blue water, which isn’t exactly optimal for the environment, but the brochures of the big boats neglect to mention that fact.

But it just isn’t water pollution; an ocean going cruise ship generates thousands of tons of carbon dioxide a week.[2]

Polluted water, polluted air, courtesy of your travel by ship — a combination of sea going outhouse and factory chimney.

When they aren’t busy polluting the planet, cruise ships are pulling into the ports of major tourist centers — many of them at the same place and at the same time. 

Travel may be broadening, but there are limits to the amount of people that can comfortably enjoy visiting and touring in a port, and when the crowds are beyond manageable — and they often are — the sea going tourist may look to make a narrow escape.

Those pretty relaxing couples in the brochures may in reality be frustrated middle aged people ass to elbow with too many other middle aged people from too many other ships.[3]

One of the purposes of travel is to explore other lands, other cultures, and experience these up close and personal. 

That might be accomplished on a train, but on a cruise — not likely. 

The cruise passenger is basically riding in a bubble, stopping off for a brief landfall in an area of a new country which caters to tourists — which means, the goal is to make the traveler feel right at home while the burden of his traveler’s checks are removed from his person.

Feeling right at home is contraindicated if one really wants to obtain the benefit of foreign travel.

Then there is the element of limited time in port: ‘most of the places you cruise to will see you arriving at around eight in the morning, and you might leave at four, five, or maybe six o’clock in the evening, so you’re not really spending a lot of time in any destination.’[4]

When you book a cruise, you expect a certain itinerary. However, weather, illness, giant sea monsters, and other events can cause the ship to deviate from its course, and modify the itinerary.

So, although it isn’t widely advertised, the cruise ship can change the plans you made by changing the course it takes, and you don’t get a voice in that, and you don’t get any compensation when the good ship Lollipop doesn’t stop in Singapore like you wanted, but instead puts you off for a few hours in Sydney when you don’t even like Vegemite.

So remember, ‘cruise lines can change or cancel a port at any time without giving you compensation.’[5]

By now, you might be thinking, ‘next time,take the train,’ but sometimes you can’t hold your breath for the time required to cross an ocean by boxcar. So if you aren’t flying, you are sailing, sailing over the initial cruise price you were quoted.

When you read those advertisements for cruises to the paradise of your choice, you might think, ‘wow, that’s pretty reasonably priced.’

That’s the idea; they catch you, the fish, with the bait of a low price. However, this is bait and switch, because once they have you on the Love Boat, you may not find much love, but you sure as hell will find extra charges for just about everything.

‘They offer the lowest initial cruise fare to tempt you on board, but then once you’re on board, you can find that there are a lot of extra costs, for example gratuities and services charges which can be quite a lot of money.’ So advises Gary Bembridge, an experienced traveler in his article which has provided much food for thoughtful travelers.[6]

But sometimes you don’t shell out money for extras. In February, 2013 a fire aboard one of the ships in the Carnival line ‘left passengers stranded at sea for days without power, plumbing, and adequate food sources.‘

There was no extra charge for that experience of ‘rough seas.’[7]

WHY YOU SHOULD CARE

Travel by ship can be an enjoyable experience where the traveler can enjoy being pampered while being grossly overfed. Many people dream about cruising the ocean and visiting various foreign ports of call. They promise themselves ‘Someday I’ll sail to somewhere isle.’

One of the things cruise lines do very well is market themselves. One of the things they don’t do very well is paint an accurate picture of what these large ships do to the environment, what a ship trip can actually wind up costing the passengers, and the possibility of missed ports and overcrowded tourist traps.

But then again, why would they? They are in business to make a profit from their passengers, not scare them away.  It’s probably a safe bet that movie night on the Carnival line doesn’t include Titanic or The Poseidon Adventure.

A little more truth in advertising might calm the waves.  They wouldn’t even have to mention the fact that on an annual basis, about twenty-five passengers worldwide go overboard.[8]

[1] THE TERRIBLE TOLL OF THE CRUISE SHIP INDUSTRY Engleson 3/29/23 High Country News https://www.hcn.org/articles/ocean-the-terrible-toll-of-the-cruise-ship-industry/

[2] IBID.

[3] 8 DOWNSIDES OF CRUISING Bembridge’s Tips for Travelers https://www.tipsfortravellers.com/downsides-of-cruising/

[4] IBID.

[5] IBID.

[6] IBID.

[7] Cruise Industry Oversight: Recent Incidents Show Need for Stronger Focus on Consumer Protection 7/24/13 US SENATE COMMITTEE ON COMMERCE SCIENCE AND TRANSPORTATION

[8] https://www.perkinslawoffices.com/how-many-passengers-go-overboard-on-cruise-ships/