Sycamore Press no. 20: June Things, Mood Swings

Hi again! It’s me. I started writing this back in late June and subsequently got caught up in pre-birthday dread followed closely by post-birthday bliss — not to mention a healthy dose of apartment-cleaning, unpacking, and organizing. Plenty more has happened since then, so forgive me if I end up rambling even longer than usual!

All men live enveloped in whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life.

— [guess what book I still haven’t finished…]

Life Updates: The Maine Part of the Newsletter

Even though I was only in Maine for one week in June, I spent the preceding week mostly stressing about the trip and the following week mostly trying to recover from it. While a week of long days at a work conference with lots of socializing bookend-ed by long days on airplanes was draining, Portland did its darnedest to relax me. Mild weather, lush greenery, brick buildings, and the rhythmic tides of the frigid gargantuan Atlantic helped to put my mind at ease.

The conference went really well too. I got to talk with a lot of bigwigs in the field, including at my research poster. During the poster session, I was giving runs-down of my research pretty much non-stop and with my trademark level of enthusiasm which I can’t really seem to turn off. As a result, I was pretty drained. When I finally was able to sneak off for some water, I found that it had been taken away and had to settle for a Miller Lite.

Anyway, my dehydrated ranting and the hours I put in moving little vectors and JPEGs and text boxes just a few pixels to the left ended up working out: I won a prize! That thrill has pretty much worn off though, and I’ve spent a lot off time since then fussing over final moving-related arrangements, cleaning, and preparing to host people for my birthday.

Speaking of which, I got pretty bent out of shape in the lead-up to the big day. I was all caught up in comparing my social life here to the one I had back in college, which prompted a bit of a doom spiral. But after receiving long-distance birthday wishes from so many of you and having a great time hanging out with the AZ-based among you, I felt restored.

July is a weird time around here. The ungodly heat, the quiet atmosphere and overall lack of direction at work, and the taunting calls of our annual cicadas create a kind of dreamlike atmosphere. This lack of structure, combined with all the aforementioned fussing, has made it pretty difficult for me to settle into consistent eating, sleeping, working, reading and socializing routines.

To counteract that summer malaise, I took decisive corrective action. Following some guidelines from the Sleep Foundation, I set a relatively firm bedtime and wake-up time — 11:00PM and 7:00AM, respectively. While my initial instinct was that I wanted to both stay up later than 11 and ultimately get up earlier than 7, I am accepting that I must work within the limits of what my body needs. I also outlined a small sequence of key bedtime activities and planned to shut off all bright screens by 10:00PM. So far, I’m amazed by the results. Now I just hope I can stay consistent! Expect a blog post about this at some point.

OK, one final anecdote. Sonora set up a little bird feeder outside our window, and now Skunk and Isa are obsessed with watching the house finches that stop there for a snack! They wait every morning for the blinds to open and are basically glued to the window till dark. They’re gonna screw up their eyes staring at that thing all day!

Art & Media Roundup

Reading and such have been slow, and I didn’t even enjoy as much of a plane ride boost as I often do. Still Moby Dick-ing around (and now wishing I had a physical copy — my whole reading-on-my-phone thing is already beginning to backfire, I think). Also, despite having already read most of the truly classic stuff, I went ahead and finished the rest of the non-Patreon-exclusive/pre-2020s Achewood comics (though I’ve yet to go back and read the blogs, which I may or may not ever get around to).

Music-wise, I had a brief obsession with Surface To Air Missive’s 2018 album Surface II Air Missive (recorded back in ‘13/’14 and originally intended to be STAM’s sophomore LP) (or something like that). It’s a really great take on the sort of jangly, retro-inflected 2010s indie rock that I remember so fondly but which can often be really boring and derivative. Thankfully, Surface II Air Missive doesn’t really suffer from this issue, in part because it blends quality pop songwriting and lively performances with proggy chord change therapy. While the two for sure have different sounds, I think I like it for many of the same reasons I enjoy Shrubbies’ 1999 Memphis in Texas, and, like that album, I found myself listening to Surface II Air Missive in its entirety again and again.

Favorite tracks: Life Is So Sad, Big Night, Some Blues, Resolve

I also continued listening to a lot of aMiniature’s 1994 Depth Five Rate Six. Really catchy West Coast post-hardcore/indie rock/alternative rock with a fantastic guitar sound and a pretty charismatic oddball on vox in the form of John Lee. I’m so happy to own this one on CD!

Favorite tracks: Physical Climber, Weepo, Ouisghian Zodahs in Panoply, Towner on the B-Side, Zero in Trust

For the first time in quite a while, I got obsessed with a new release too! First Day Back’s new album Forward is everything I want in an emo record. It feels like it was made in a lab to be the perfect 2025 emo record for me, honestly. A generous helping of those classic 90s sounds, fantastic vocal performances situated at the perfect intersection of screaming and singing, catchy bass lines, scream-along choruses, harmonica and bowed strings, a tight tracklist full of memorable melodies… I mean, nothing here is innovative — at least not in any straightforward way. But the execution is friggin’ world-class.

Favorite tracks: Sure, Ok; Us; Lines; Paint

Besides that, uh… I finally watched season 2 of Nathan Fielder’s The Rehearsal. It was really entertaining. Sonora kept saying, “this is so fucked up!” throughout, which maybe tells you what you’re in for if you haven’t seen it yet. Since I was already borrowing a friend’s (HBO) Max login, I also got around to watching the third and final season of How To with John Wilson, which is kind of in a similar vein — albeit with a much subtler delivery.

Webcomic Updates & Creative Endeavors

Contrary to my stated goals, I only squeezed out one webcomic update since last time. I’ve got more in the works though, and I take some solace in the fact that the aesthetic element continues to evolve and improve.

This month, I really am hoping to crank out quite a few strips, especially since I’ve got a decent backlog of ideas. And you can expect a new blog post pretty soon too, as I alluded to earlier.

Reflections & Looking Ahead

There’s something odd and kind of enlightening about having a really shitty week and then turning things around. The bad feelings can seem so permanent, stretching out infinitely all in all directions. Things have been bad for so long, and they’re never gonna be good again. And then, all of a sudden, things are different! Often, the change that’s needed can be something really small. I think that’s kind of empowering, and it’s making me think of all the other small ways I might facilitate my future happiness and stave off future dread and loneliness.

Anyway, thanks for reading this absurdly long newsletter! Or at least skimming it! Or at least skipping down to the bottom before clicking away! As always, it feels really good to write to you. Maybe having some dedicated screen-free time before bed will also motivate me to write all those physical letters I keep talking about. I promise none of them will be this long…

TTYS! ILYSM!! XOXO

——————————— N.