Sycamore Press August 2024: Ups and Downs (That’s Just What Life Is, Yeah?)

July seems to whoosh past every year, and July 2024 was no exception. I guess that’s not such a bad thing, given the devilish heat. In contrast to the broader pattern, last week went by remarkably slowly. More on that in a sec.

I am also happy to report that I indeed had a really good 25th birthday thanks in a large part to lovely friends both near and far. I have also found some new ways to amuse myself over the past month, and these have really come in handy. Let’s get into it!

It was a world of constant sunsets
That got progressively longer
Until they were all unifying
Into a slow and constant burn
Each moment a humming sizzle
Drifting in and out of our heads

— Parquet Courts, “Tidal Hisses”

General Life Updates

As I mentioned, my birthday was really fun. I got to enjoy some fine tea while chatting with friends on Instagram; write with some lovely new stationery; eat sushi; drink at my favorite bar in the company of close friends; and transform the tiny flames of ten cheap birthday candles into a swirling, silvery, secret wish.

One nice thing about the hot nights here (90+ Farenheit, even well after sunset) is that we can go to our complex’s pool when it’s empty and moody and serene. I’ve also gotten a little daytime swimming in, including at the university rec center pool. I’m bad at it — I was a swimming school dropout by the time I was 7 or so — but it’s good exercise and feels great. I want to do more of it, and lots more stretching and yoga. Especially when my mind is so scattered, getting in touch with my physical body is a grounding experience.

I’ve gotten a little socialization in too, including that book club for translated fiction I mentioned last time. The book was good, but I was flabbergasted and a bit hurt when nobody in this small group (~10 people) so much as asked my name. Even after we spent an hour discussing this book together! What gives?! Even though this doesn’t reflect very well on these people as potential friends, I know that sustained exposure to a consistent group of folks is basically the recipe for adult friendship — and the book picks have been good. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I’m going again in about two weeks. I guess I believe in second chances.

After a while of wrestling with the transit system here amid the blistering heat, I was so excited to finally get a real, decent bike pump with a pressure gauge and put an end to my constant flat tires. Unfortunately, this coincided perfectly with Sonora and me getting COVID and being stuck in our little one-bedroom pad for a languid, sniffling week. This put me in a weird headspace, and I ended up doing a lot of ruminating. Not good. But I also found some ways to stay occupied here at home. More on those in a sec. Anyway, be safe out there everyone — especially my friends here in the American West where wastewater virus levels are currently very high.

One discovery I made that week was that I can solve both my weekday morning woes (I can’t ever seem to get out of the house on time) and my weekday evening scaries by switching to a nighttime showering schedule. It’s hard to overstate what a huge shift this is for me, and I don’t think it would even be possible without my little silk bonnet to protect my hair from the ravages of our linen pillowcases. Anyway, making this change has singlehandedly made me into a morning person and a workplace go-getter. Wild stuff!

I also started repurposing an old laptop for a home server. I want to self-host media streaming, my website(s), a VPN, and maybe even e-mail. You can bet that this will take a while, because I will make this process as needlessly complicated as possible. I’m just the fiddly type.

Epic Gamer Moments

While I did enjoy the company of books during my isolation, I didn’t always have the bandwidth to be a good reader. But I eventually started having a great time playing games. For one, I’ve been enjoying the Wall Street Journal’s friday crosswords. Solving them makes my brain feel good, and it’s a great excuse to use my nice pencils!

I’ve also been emulating Wild Arms 2: Second Ignition, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in ages. Wild Arms 1 was so core to my childhood that I almost wouldn’t feel right not playing it on original hardware, but I never finished Wild Arms 2 back then (possibly because of its famously bad English localization) and wanted to give it another shot. Anyway, it’s a bit easier than I remember, but that makes it perfect to play while watching a video or something because I have Gen Z Subway Surfers TikTok brain.

I have a weird desire to stream this game or something. I dunno. I miss talking to friends while gaming. Maybe we can play some online games or even a TTRPG sometime. I was even thinking of self-hosting a Mumble server or similar since I not-so-secretly hate Discord. I dunno.

Arts & Entertainment

Despite a weird funk week when I was not actively reading a book, I have still been knockin’ ‘em out slowly but steadily. I finished Joyce’s A Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man (loved it) and also read Lemon by Kwon-Yeo Sun and The Story of My Teeth by Valeria Luiselli for the book club. As I said, these were good picks, and I recommend them, especially the latter. Before I start having to worry about September book club, I want to get a head start on either Clarice Lispector’s The Apple in the Dark or Mark Fisher’s Capitalist Realism.

I can finally say that I saw I Saw The TV Glow (which is a very fun thing to say). I enjoyed it, and even though it doesn’t necessarily stand out in my mind as a masterpiece of cinema or anything, it was a really good and also really vulnerable (but cathartic and affirming) experience. I love the theater experience (especially in the kind of kooky one where we saw it), but I almost wish I could have seen it in a more private setting.

For some reason I’m inclined to expose how out of touch with the Current Musical Moment I am by posting a Last.fm grid this month. One notable listen from July which didn’t make the cut (b/c it’s just one 20-min track and thus underrepresented by scrobbles) is Bark Psychosis’ SCUM. Also — and I hope this is not heretical to say during a summer when the pop girlies are eating so good new releases-wise — but Sheena Ringo’s 2003 Kalk Samen Kuri No Hana is unquestionably my favorite pop record of all time and is actually nothing but highlights. No notes. That is all.

Now for the Bummer of the Month: we had tickets to see Joe Pera’s newest standup act, but we had to miss it on account of getting COVID and all. Gah!! I guess that’s life.

Creative Corner

Trying to make good on my promises to share something creative, even if it’s unfinished. I was originally going to have this poor cow be a proxy for me and fill her cartoon thought bubble with my relentless ruminative thoughts (a visual pun on rumination as both a psychological phenomenon and a digestive process in ruminants), but I never felt up to doing that part. Anyway, pencils have been fun. It’s cool to turn simple shapes into something vaguely recognizable.

I picked up a little workbook at the zine distro this month that’s supposed to help you develop your creative practice. I think it will be good for me.

Reflections

Wow. This turned out to be a long one. Even though life has been really challenging at times, I’m finding so many little ways to cope and even enjoy myself. If you’ll indugle me, I think I’ll finish by stating a few goals:

• Grow my hair back out to Jan/Feb/March 2021 levels

• Get my nose pierced (septum?) (sorry — embarrassing, I know) (but necessary)

• Do yoga every day

• …OK, maybe I don’t actually have all that many goals. But hey, I’m glad we did this.

Thanks for reading this far, even if you skipped over some of the boring parts, ha-ha! Remember that you can send replies to asksycamore@mailbox.org if you wanna. I hope you have a lovely August and don’t get bothered too much by the heat or the back-to-school commercials. Either way, I’ll see you on the other side! OK love you byeeeee!!!!

Your friend,

—N