Sycamore Press April 2024: Better Late Than Never!

I must begin by apologizing for the delay, although many of you will know that this is because I was doing some very rewarding traveling. It was so lovely to see some of the people (including many of you!) and places that have meant so much to me over the years. Now, without further ado, let's get into it!

"I am holding a mystical sphere."

— Steely Dan - Time Out of Mind

General Life Updates

The much-anticipated comprehensive exams went swimmingly, which put me in very good spirits. My week-long homecoming and many of the wonderful adventures that occurred over that span had a similar effect on me. Finding out I owed like 2 grand in taxes this year, eh, not so much. But life goes on.

I have become interested in wearing fragrance again. I'm curious as to whether any of my followers have recommendations! I really like vetiver and bergamot aromas, at least so far.

I also carry a hanky now. It is pre-folded into little pages. It is soft and has gotten me out of some tough spots already. Sorry if this grosses you out. (I'm not actually sorry, I don't think. Sorry about that.) My nose runs all the time.

It is really starting to warm up here. I am dreading the summer heat, but I will find ways to survive, I think.

My hair grows longer still.

Food & Drink

Not too much to report, besides a great chicken+rice recipe I discovered and will photograph the next time I make it (if I remember). For now, here are some culinary snapshots from my recent trip.

Arts & Entertainment

A recent acquisition of mine, a cute little digital audio player, has really improved my music listening experience. I had mostly been listening to music at work before, but now I have been enjoying our little stereo setup at home and just vibing with my headphones on a lot more. My main listening is similar to before: lots of Fugazi, Aphex Twin, Steely Dan, Off Minor, and Storm & Stress, among other things. Been spending a lot of time with Ornette Colemen's The Shape of Jazz to Come (1959) lately too. For plane rides, Asleep Country's 2023 3-hour monstrosity Fake Opulent puts me in a seriously dream-like state (often while actually drifting in and out of sleep). That record is NUTS in a decidedly good way.

I am also highly anticipating Still House Plants' new EP (out very soon) and RiTchie's debut full-length (which I just haven't listened to yet). These will be the first 2024 releases I really sink my teeth into!

While traveling, I saw Jeff Rosenstock in concert and was joyously bounced around while Griffin and I screamed our favorite songs. I also saw several locals and friends perform, including a set curated specifically for me. I nearly sobbed right there in front of God and everybody. Finally, I received some wonderful gifts: Ciccone Youth's The Whitey Album on CD (my favorite format), and Donald Fagen's masterpiece The Nightfly on cassette.

I am, I think/hope, also in the process of becoming a voracious reader (of fiction, at least). I finished Pynchon's The Crying of Lot 49, which I adored, as well as a translation of Cristina Rivera Garza's The Iliac Crest, which I received on lend and also adored. It destroyed me. Now I am beginning The Brothers Karamazov with my confidence renewed by those shorter works I have just read. I also ordered a collection of stories titled Eros: Anti-Eros which I happened on totally by chance while googling things that have been on my mind lately (more on this later).

Creative Corner

I just couldn't muster a Sycamore webcomic this time around, but have a doodle!

I have really been wanting to make music again lately as well as to write for things other than work. Doing so habitually will be tough, but I think it's what I need.

Reflections

So much of "professional" working life, popular culture, and social media in the U.S. resemble to me a sort of Anti-Eros. That is, all forms of eroticism seem to be vanishing from everyday life. I don't just mean this in sexual terms. So much about our way of life embodies a kind of pornographic indulgence while also being overly sanitized, scrubbed of any traces of passion, deviance, or moral impurity that might run counter to the sensibilities of advertisers. Maybe others have said this better, and maybe I don't make any sense. But that's kind of my thesis for the month.

My countermeasures are few so far. Literature seems spared from this, so I am further driven to read more. Besides that, I am trying to be less terrified of disappointing and offending people, of being myself with less shame. I will try to leave just a little less of myself at the front desk when I walk into work. I will watch more weird and uncomfortable movies and have more weird and uncomfortable conversations. I will allow myself to sit in silence, to write and draw crudely, to talk to strangers, to swear, to disagree, and to see myself as beautiful -- even when I look stupid. I will cry, out loud, in front of people. I figure one of these has got to work.

I love you all so dearly. Thanks for reading if you did, and thanks especially to those of you who have made such enormous gestures of love over the past week. It really means the world. Write me a letter sometime! I am feeling inspired and may already be working on one addressed to you.

Yr friend,
N