RE-FRAMING ABORTION
Sex, Power, $ and Fear of the Sacred
by Suzanne Arms, Founder & Director
Birthing the Future® a 501c3 nonprofit www.birthingthefuture.org
Copyright: 2023
Part 1
Looking now at the controversial subject of abortion, the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling that permits states to limit or totally outlaw it, and at the growing number of states currently rushing to outlaw it, I am pained and offended by the shallowness of what passes for discussion - on all sides.
If we ever hope to arrive at understanding each other and treating each other with mutual respect, then we all simply must think more deeply and broadly - including regarding both long-term as well as short-term implications of outlawing abortion or forcing women to become pregnant and bear a child. And we must be willing to hold views that may be contradictory, yet may both be true. If we hope to create a better world.
Learning to be able to hold opposing ideas is the definition of "paradox": two (or more) things that couldn't possibly be true - yet are. To give you a quick example of a paradox: a pregnant person and the baby in their womb are both two distinct individual while at the same time one biological system.
Paradox is not a concept most of us were raised to feel comfortable with, any more than living in the range of gray tones rather than seeing black or white. It's part of human nature to desire certainty, yet intrinsic to life that there is no certainty - except the fact of our death. And much of life exists in the area of grays, and sticky paradoxes. Like abortion.
As you read my thoughts in this long essay (which I've divided into bite-size pieces), I hope you'll be willing to feel the discomfort, sorrow, grief, and/or anger that the subject of abortion brings up. In your body, as well as your heart and mind. You, men, as well as women. For it's a subject that affects everyone and makes most of us uncomfortable. Yet we would rather not be faced with the contradictions and paradoxes implicit in the subject and the reality of abortion.
I'm passionate about the subject, although it's not really my chosen issue. I've come to realize that it is my issue, though I’m 79 and well beyond childbearing. If you’re reading this piece, I assume abortion is your issue too, however uncomfortable you may be with it.
Abortion makes most everyone uncomfortable. Researching, listening to others, including those who completely disagree with me, and putting my thoughts into words has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone.
Isn’t that what learning and maturing is meant to do?
If you just stop reading at the end of this paragraph, you might call me "pro life". I'm a mother and grandmother, an activist who's dedicated 45 years to the complex issues surrounding childbearing: pre-conception, pregnancy and womb life, giving birth and being born, breastfeeding, attachment, parenting, and preventing and healing early psychological trauma and the chronic health issues that can originate from how we came into our body and this world.
A bit about what's shaped my views. After graduating from college in literature and a minor in cross-cultural studies, I began working as a secretary in a Catholic hospital, where abortions were of course never done. I soon shifted to being a teacher in San Francisco's public day care centers, then in a well-to-do nursery school, and then as a head teacher in one of the first inner city HeadStart programs. Young, white and ignorant of so many issues, but in all those experiences, I observed anxious, worried, depressed and even angry, little children, starting at 9 months of age, which was the age when kids were allowed into public day care centers.
I was also in a small dance company at the time and couldn't help but notice how many little children were uncomfortable in their body. And so many didn’t feel safe to be themselves, to get dirty, to express strong emotions. I wondered why and began a search for answers.
When I was about nine, I recall, I had this thought: I am going to make the world safe for children. Today I care passionately about the welfare of all children, but at first it was just babies and toddlers, and then newborns, and then, when I learned about pre- and perinatal psychology, about babies in the womb and life before conception, when the parents' egg and sperm could be altered by environmental toxins and stress, “epigenetic” influences, some of which they have no control over. And genetic predispositions of all kinds could be switched on or remain unexpressed in that child.
My passion regarding bringing babies into the world and caring for them and for their parents - especially their mothers - began with the birth of my daughter, shifted over time, and is today rooted in three beliefs. I'll share those beliefs in my next part, for they are strongly implicated in the tricky subject of abortion. I hope you'll stay with me and use my thoughts to think more deeply about your beliefs and be open to expanding your mind.
If you like this piece, please do share it!
I’ll end here, with a quote from my husband, Bob Hartman
“Think deeply. Shallow thinking only serves your oppressor.”
Warm Regards, Suzanne to be continueD
The views expressed here are our own. Special thanks if you have chosen to support our work. Warmly, Suzanne