Hey Wicked Angel,

We just finished our first European tour and reality is still catching up!

I’ve spent the last few weeks resting, recovering, and trying to convince myself it happened. For years, touring Europe felt like one of those goals that sits slightly out of reach. The kind you manifest, joke about, and quietly hope the universe is listening to.

The whole thing now feels slightly unreal in hindsight. A blur of couch surfing, red-eye buses, airport floors, unfamiliar cities, and somehow making it to the next show.

In the chaos of getting it all done, I appear to have accidentally skipped a quarter of ON MUSINGS. Time moves strangely when you’re living inside it.

So buckle up. We have a lot to catch up on.

Welcome to ON MUSINGS: a quarterly space where I share reflections, updates from my music journey, and whatever else is stirring in the season. Think of it as a letter from me to you: an intimate, unholy communion between the artist and the witness.

In this issue:

• Study UK Alumni Awards (who let this happen?)

• sweetdark. EP is now available on Bandcamp

• The romance and reality of my first European tour

• We are playing Lalala Festival!!!

Let’s start at the beginning of 2026.

We put on our big girl coat and went to the first event of the year. I was nominated as a Top 5 finalist in the Culture, Creativity and Sport category (out of 1,000 applicants) by the British Council.

It’s strange being on stage without my usual performance armour, wearing shoes no less, and being recognised for the work I’ve done since returning to Malaysia.

I’ve never thought of what I do as particularly grand. But I do think I’m becoming someone my younger self would be proud of, and that feels like the right place to begin.

This year, we are officially entering our sweetdark. era.

If you’ve been following along, you’ll know I recently released cigarette and cider as the first part of a four-track EP. This project has been the most vulnerable work I’ve made so far.

I’m quite private when it comes to my romantic life, and writing these songs has felt like slowly exposing things I usually keep tucked away. It’s a bit like airing my dirty laundry.

Some of what I’ve written sits in a more visceral space than anything I’ve shared before. Sensual, sharp, sometimes uncomfortable, but still honest. I could hide behind a persona and frame it as fiction, but there’s no real point in that here.

And in true dramatic fashion of walking into this new era, I cut my hair. Baby bangs included.

Now I know you’re as excited for this EP as I am, so here’s the tracklist:

1. cigarette and cider

2. hottest girl in the closet

3. undo me

4. break a beautiful thing

As a tiny surprise, the full EP is already available on Bandcamp if you can’t wait for the streaming release and would like to support my music in a more direct manner.

You see, when the year began, I never imagined I’d spend months thrown into the eternal chaos of organising my first European tour.

Touring Europe had always been one of those distant goals. Years ago, I left the Europe with a lingering sense of regret. I never played a single show while I was there. At the time, I was too scared, too uncertain, convinced I wasn’t ready.

But over the years, something shifted. I played more shows, found my footing, and slowly grew into myself as an artist. Europe crept back into my thoughts; not as a fantasy, but as a possibility.

I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

One thing I’ve learned is that the universe has a funny way of responding once you’ve become the person you needed to be.

Being invited to play at FOCUS Wales was surreal.

Of course, being me, I saw this festival as an anchor for something more.

The moment the invitation came in, I started looking for more shows. What followed was months of spreadsheets, emails, late-night calls, impossible schedules, budget calculations, and a growing understanding of just how much touring is logistics disguised as romance.

Touring is often seen as a grand “made it” moment for every artist. And in many ways, it is. But the reality is more practical than poetic: luggage up staircases, sleeping wherever you can, chasing transport, and still making it to the next stage on time.

Which brings me to the biggest lesson from this tour.

My first European tour was built on three things: friendship, community, and faith.

Friendship, because every show happened through people. Someone made an introduction. Someone offered a couch. Someone shared a meal, a ride, a recommendation, or opened a door that would otherwise have stayed closed.

On top of that, even though I was touring with a solo setup. I was never the only person involved. The set, visuals, costumes, and ideas all came from people I’m lucky enough to call collaborators.

Community, because many of you reading this helped make it happen. Whether you bought a ticket, came to a fundraiser show, shared my music, sent encouragement, or followed along from afar, you were part of getting me there. The road feels long, but it feels shorter when you know people are rooting for you. For that, I am so so grateful.

And finally, faith.

Not the abstract kind, but the useful kind. The kind that gets you sending emails before you know if anything will work. The kind that keeps you going when plans fall apart. The kind that makes delusion productive.

For all the romance of being on the road, someone (a.k.a. I) still has to book the flights, send the emails, build the spreadsheets, and keep moving when nothing is certain.

Looking back, I realise this tour was more than arriving in Europe. It was about understanding what it means to build something that only exists because many people decided it should.

And I am one lucky one to have experienced it unfold.

If I’m being honest, the performance part was the easiest bit of all.

Across the tour, we played seven shows in some of my dream cities: London, Cardiff, Berlin, and Jeseník - a small town that felt more like a reunion than a gig, with friends from across the region coming together.

Our major highlight was FOCUS Wales in Wrexham, where we played three sets across Tŷ Pawb, BBC Cymru Wales, and a full tent at Hope Street Church for the AXEAN Mixer. Thank you to everyone who came down and spent time with the set. It meant more than I can properly articulate.

One of the most exciting parts of the tour was discovering and meeting artists along the way: Tristwch y Fenywod, Bonnie Trash, Kyoyoko, Dewin, Kimmortal, Kirara, Xandega, Logic Lost, and Pony Girl.

Friendships between artists move differently at festivals. Faster, deeper, more instinctive.

And I’ll never forget getting pizza at 1am and stumbling into an impromptu freestyle rap happening on the street out of nowhere.

It’s impossible to capture every moment before it slips away. But the people, the friendships, and the small absurdities of life on the road will stay with me for a very long time.

Being surrounded by that kind of creative energy every day changed something in me. I came back feeling slightly altered.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to everyone who played a part in this tour. Because of you, what began as a distant dream became something real. I'll be carrying these memories and this sense of possibility with me into everything that comes next.

As we move into the next stretch of the year, our focus shifts to Lalala Festival.

I’m still processing that we’re playing this one. The lineup this year is incredible, and I’ll be spending time watching Kodaline and getting lost in everything else happening around us.

Rest assured, I’ll be taking you along for the ride ;p

As usual, before we part ways, a little offering for making it to the end:

1. Live at Jameson Distilled Sounds Wrapped, June 13. Get your access here. I’ll be taking a short break after this as we prepare for Lalala Festival. I’m also putting together a few letters from wickedland, so come find me after the set if you want one.

2. My third EP, sweetdark., is now available on Bandcamp. If you’d like to support my music directly, you can purchase it there instead of waiting for the staggered digital release.

If there’s one thing to carry forward from this, I hope you remember that nothing meaningful is built alone, and growth only happens when you step beyond what you already know.

Your cult leader from wickedland,

S.