you've got this
I know that one of the primary rules of the internet is “don’t read the comments,” right there next to “don’t feed the trolls.” I usually steer clear from comment sections on websites unless I’m looking for a trainwreck because they just seem to attract the worst of people, or the worst impulses of people-- I don’t want to say that the people themselves are the worst.
I know that the process of curating online communities takes time and effort, and have seen blogs and Instagram accounts take a hard line of deleting and blocking to maintain a safe or curated space. I’ve seen the other side, too, when influencers or Tik-Tockers let their comment sections become free-for-alls because all engagement is good engagement and the more outrage in the comments, the better their reach. It gets pretty bleak.
I’ve also been on many websites that have comment sections that seem to be completely ignored by their creators. I think there was an era of website creation in which the norm seemed to be that all pages needed a comment section, regardless of whether or not there was an actual need or purpose for one. Maybe that’s where people got into the habit of letting their worst selves out in a vomitous spew. I know much has been said about the anonymity of the internet and otherwise calm, rational, composed folks becoming rabid, hate-spewing bullies. Lindy West wrote about confronting her fatphobic troll in her memoir and also talked about the experience in a This American Life episode (both absolutely worth your checking out). It looks like others do actual research on the topic, which I think must be a useful phenomenon to understand.
I’m also interested in the inverse. Like I said, I try to avoid comment sections unless I’m prepared for negativity. However, today when I put on a YouTube video of sound that’s supposed to improve focus (are binaural beats and beta waves truly useful? All I know is that I did finish my tasks), I glanced at the comments for no real reason. I wasn’t expecting anything, and I was probably only reading because a part of me was still trying to procrastinate. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see positive, uplifting comments. It was kind of odd. All of these strangers were wishing luck to each other on exams, homework, sleep.
I didn't expect to see random people from all different times (four months ago, one week ago, one year ago) giving each other pep talks. And, though I didn’t seek out this video in need of encouragement, I felt heartened. It was genuinely touching.
I wonder how many people it takes to start a waterfall of encouragement and love rather than a pile-up of hate and anger. I’m no fan of toxic positivity, but I do see the merit of hope and encouragement. It has its place.
So I guess I’ll pass it along to you. You are worthy. You deserve rest. Take a deep breath and a sip of water. Stretch your body. You’re doing great. You’ve got this.
prompt #37:
Go find music that calms you. You may already have an album or an artist in mind, or you might want to take my route and clunkily type “focus music” or “calm music” into your search bar.
Put in headphones and play it for five minutes. Write about whatever comes your way. Let the feeling of focus or calm lead the way.
You may find that something unexpected comes to you in the writing. Or you may find that you just got five minutes of calm to yourself. I’d consider that a win either way.
ashley's piece, small wonders:
I’m sitting here at my desk for the who-knows-what hour in a row
with a little puppy nestled against my bum
hot little furnace body warming us both
I don’t sit in silence enough
breathe in the air and wait for my mind to make its own little flourishes
pet her soft ears and really feel with my fingertips
or listen to the steady intake of breath from behind me
so regular and measured that at first
I thought she was a feature of the music
Sound has a way of doing that doesn't it?
Just sneaks up on us
warm and sweet and wild