untouchable joy
Right now I’m obsessed with the band Whitney’s new album of covers, called Candid. I’m the kind of person who becomes deeply enamored of albums. When I find a new one I love, I’ll listen on repeat. Literally. Finish the last song and put it right back on again. Even though I know that I’ll eventually tire of it, I have no fear of the day when that disinterest arrives. I don’t savor, I don’t dole out the pleasure, don’t slow myself down. I jump headlong into a musical obsession, wearing out the songs in my ears and my emotions.
Back when I used to commute to work, I’d replay my favorite songs in particular, repeating them until I knew all of the words, could hit the notes and mimic the singer’s phrasing. Now that I’m at home, I listen in my headphones and over the stereo throughout the day. It’s made me reflect on the way music encodes itself into place just as much as it does emotion. When I listen to certain songs, I find myself, in my mind’s eye, right back in another spot in which I listened to it before.
Not every spot in which I listened to it, and not necessarily the most important spots at which I listened, just a spot. But still, somehow the music becomes entangled in location.
Now that I don’t really go anywhere, a huge component of the listening experience is lost. For the most part, it isn’t very hard for me to shelter in place. I have no kids, am lucky to be able to work from home, enjoy my comfortable little house, and am an introvert. But I’m just now realizing that I do miss the feeling of driving and singing, linking a song to a place, that very American (or Californian?) stereotypical image of driving by the beach, windows down, music blasting, wind in my hair, feeling some kind of magical, untouchable joy.
Maybe this means I need to start driving nowhere while listening to this album. Somehow, though, the purposeless drive doesn’t seem like it will be the same. There’s something nice about stealing a little enjoyment for myself in between the have-tos of the day. Between having to go to work and having to run errands, is the private pleasure of listening to an album, on repeat, soaking it in, playing that song one more time because I almost got the last verse down perfectly and I can fit one more listen in before I get there. So who knows, maybe I’ll go get some groceries.
prompt #17:
What is a song or album that’s stuck in your brain right now? Why? What about it has you hooked? Is it linked to a place? A person? A feeling?
Maybe turn this reflection into an ode to that song/album. Or your own interpretation. Or maybe it will stay as a simple reflection on what it means to you right now, at this point in time, in this particular space.
(My piece was the intro.)