April 17, 2025

Indie rock scouting report: Bon Iver

Last week, Bon Iver — the recording alias of indie rocker Justin Vernon — released a new record, Sable, Fable. To celebrate the release of the album, he hosted a pickup basketball tournament in the Little Tokyo neighborhood of Los Angeles. The game’s rosters featured some of his buddies and also music world figures like Odd Future’s Travis ‘Taco’ Bennett. Loosely Coachella-related? Listen, I don’t know.

The hooping narrative really got hammered in the roll-out:

I’m not much of a podcast person — I prefer to listen to Cheap Trick — so I’m grateful to the Popcast boys for clipping this one for me.

The most notable thing from this chat segment is that Bon Iver hoops in New Balance 300s, a pretty low-tech, low-top tennis shoe. While tennis shoes can be useful outdoor basketball shoes, since there’s a lot of overlap in terms of traction and stability, this is a far-out choice for a 43-year-old man. “That’s wild,” says Popcast host Jon Caramanica. I agree with that assessment.

It’s been a while, but once upon a time, I had a habit of writing up scouting reports on indie rockers who have hooped publicly. I thought it was time to dust off this niche franchise for my beloved Streakers.

So, let’s do it.

INDIE ROCK SCOUTING REPORT: BON IVER

Before I get into Justin’s game, let’s talk a little bit about what we’re looking at here. The tournament takes place at Little Tokyo’s Terasaki Budokan rec center — the clips I’m about to share make the court look small, though cruising the TB website, it does appear to be a full court. Nice facility!

The teams play with a salmon Sable, Fable-branded ball, which you can see above, and have redecorated the backboards to fit the aesthetic. While I never love covering up the glass with plexiglass or whatever they did, I just think you’re gonna get some weird bounces off of a valuable surface for this kind of game — you’re taking away the precious window! — I’ll allow it because I love branding. I don’t love when the bottom of the net overlaps with a bank of doors, but that could just be my washed up shooter’s preference for a real ‘batter’s eye’ behind the lid.

Let’s grind some tape — if the link didn’t embed there it’s a work-safe click.

I am relieved to share that JV is wearing salmon-colored Booker 1s, a massive upgrade from the NB 300s (confirmed by the GQ scene report). In the Popcast interview, Vernon scouts himself as a good passer, crafty with his old man game, a willing rebounder with medium range. That tracks with the eye test.

Something I love about all of these clips is that the narrators are all a little confused to be at this game, as if they just appeared there out of thin air. All the captions include language “What am I even doing here,” which I think is valid, if you’re seeing the tempo and intensity of this particular pick-up situation. “What exactly am I looking at here?”

Maybe the timing has to do with the pre-Coachella build up, where out-of-towners are just looking for something to do before the grounds open and they can see Basement Jaxx. Two Haims are in the building, Danielle and Este. Este, congratulations on your engagement! (The new Haim songs are bangers, but I don’t need to tell you that).

GQ’s Nate Rogers notes that Vernon loves the turn-around j, and the group chat pointed out that he’s very clearly mimicking LeBron’s famous move getting to his right shoulder. In the spinmag clip, Vernon misses a tough one — I don’t love the footwork, it looks a little busy to me and while there’s a lot of flipping around he’s not really creating a ton of space, some of the other groupchatters were fine with it so feels like I’m being the buzzkill. He nails one where he gets a little bit better position, and is a little less messy with it.

If you took a moment to check out my W*n B*tler scouting report, you might notice a shift in tone. Middle age has mellowed me out. While Vernon’s not exactly blowing by guys, I can see the effort — he’s 43 and seems additive enough, which is all you can really ask for at this point. While I see some bad shots, I also don’t see any big turnovers or spacing issues. If there’s an over-40 league draft in the cards for Vernon, he’s probably a lotto pick.

I will say — I’m a little worried about Justin’s shooting skill. As you age, it gets harder and harder to add value on that plus-minus tilt. Getting shots up and sharpening there is probably the most effective way to extend your shelf-life as a middle-aged hooper. I don’t love that he’s hunting time-expensive twos, even though it seems like he’s getting a couple good ones and knows his spots. It’s all about balance, which I’m sure he has a song about that could speak more to that than anything reported here today.

VERDICT

I pulled up IndoorHoops player rating system for my final scorecard — I’m giving Justin a 3.2. I don’t think he could guard W*n B*tler even a little bit but I think he’d be fun to play with, in an on-brand oh-so-chill way. I also misremembered 22, A Million as 32, A Million, and it’s possible that bias leaked into my score. I can’t give him a grade higher than 3.5 at his ceiling, though.

Alright, that’s it. Until next time! Thanks for readin’.