If J. Cole plays Late Night they should let him hoop too
Also Ochai got traded!
Beloved Streakers, the shirts are out there. Thank you for your patience. This was a labor of love, and I am extremely proud of how they came out. Massive shouts to Jacob at his home screen print studio NOTHING WHATEVER. He absolutely smashed it and is the chillest dude imaginable, an important trait when you’re dealing with shipping delays and an unprecedented heat wave in the Pacific NW. I made some extra shirts, so if you’re interested in copping on of those, reply directly to this email and we’ll get you sorted.
Anyway, onward to the more important stuff!
Today, a rumor has spread that J. Cole will be playing Late Night. Cole is a member of Roc Nation, and is exactly the kind of marquee booking you’d expect new Big 12 commissioner Brett Yormark to pull the strings on. The stakes are high for this year’s Late Night, as October 14 will be the evening where the natty banner is raised. We need a performer to meet this moment, and J. Cole is a big get in this spot.
I’m going to be up-front about something: Self-era Late Nights are super boring when Snoop Dogg isn’t involved. They don’t have the theatrical sizzle of Roy’s Late Nights, with full music numbers and sketches. (These sketches were terrible, but let’s set that beside the point for now). The dancing is bad, and the basketball is pretty bad too. It’s the official kickoff for KU basketball, which is always exciting, but that’s about it. I *think* I like the fact that it’s no longer scheduled for midnight on the dot (better for families, even though it was always a summer highlight to go to Late Night and have an excuse to go past midnight as a kid), but it’s a bit of a snoozer. I *think* that’s by design, although it’s always good when Self hops on the mic and roasts everyone.
Let’s up the ante for Late Night ‘22: Let J. Cole hoop.
I feel so grateful that Drake has not had this clip removed somehow. It is still so funny and perfect. My Pitchfork blog post about it kept the lights on over there for 7+ years and I invite any former colleague that might be reading to contend this in the comments
As you may know, J. Cole has reignited his playing career abroad in Africa and Canada. J. Cole is 37. It’s very romantic, and for all the slight creakiness of his game, he’s hanging in there OK with players 15+ years younger than him. These are lower level leagues, for sure, but come on… he’s 37!
Sliced bread overrated but the point stands
The scrimmage needs a boost of energy, and letting J. Cole compete against the boys would be a delightful development. Everyone wins. The guys would be HYPE. The photo opps would be legendary. J. Cole would absolutely sign a playing waiver, also—that’s just some good comp! J. Cole lives for this! The scrimmage now becomes appointment viewing, as opposed to kind-of watching it the next day on the impossible-to-navigate ESPN+ app.
Some newsletters have obvious through-lines, and sometimes there’s no need to keep elaborating on the point at hand. This feels like one of those instances. Let. J. Cole. Hoop. Lay-up line optional.
Ochai traded! ☝️🤨☝️
While it’s a bit of a bummer to see Ochai get traded off a playoff team, especially one where he definitely added value to a cool and fun roster of young guys, but let’s look at the bright side: a reunion with Udoka Azubuike, and an absolute ocean of playing time.
The Jazz are rebuilding, and once they trade the rest of their veterans, Ochai is going to be … starting probably? Jazz coach Will Hardy was one of the architects of Boston’s league-best defense, one that carried him into the finals, and seemingly a great person to guide Ochai toward his ceiling on that side of the ball. I have no idea what the Jazz are doing, and that worries me in a cosmic sense, but I’m not stressing about Ochai’s development just yet.
A few others have pointed this out, but the last time the Cavs traded a KU lotto pick before he ever suited up for Cleveland, that player won a ring elsewhere. Let’s hope something like this is in the cards for Och.
Also: let’s get Dotson in there.