StoryGodmother Newsletter #24 - How can you improve a chapter?
Get ready for autumn writing with tips on improving chapters, developing characters, and upcoming writing courses and competitions!
Hello!
I hope you’ve all had a lovely summer, and it hasn’t flown by too quickly. As we rapidly gallop towards the autumn, I hope you’re looking forward to the new season. As September starts afresh, keep an eye on your goals for the rest of the year. You have four months before the end of the year – what are you going to do with them, and how are you going to make them count?
STORY GODMOTHER WRITING COMMUNITY
Thanks to those of you who have joined the Story Godmother Facebook group. I hope it’s proving helpful to you. Please do invite your writer friends along to join – it’s open to all. If you haven’t joined yet but would like to, here’s the link: Story Godmother Writing Community
It’s a private group and a safe space to share and grow as a writer. And it’s absolutely free. As with any new group, we are still finding our feet, but I am trying to share regular content as often as I can.
RESOURCES
How can you improve a chapter?
I’ve spent a LOT of time creating and writing this year, perhaps more than any other year of my life. But the problem with spending a lot of time creating and writing, is that you then have to spend a lot of time editing! After the initial, ‘Oh my goodness, what the heck am I going to do with this mess on the page?’ gut reaction, I actually really enjoy editing. (Just as well, because after I get through the next draft of this novel – which should be finished this weekend – I am receiving notes for a second novel next week!)
On this novel I was writing, there was a chapter which was “ok”. It can be tempting to dismiss one or two chapters as ‘functional’ or ‘quiet’ – just not necessarily packed with the juiciest parts of the book. Sometimes that is the case, BUT there are always ways to tighten up a chapter. I thought you might be interested in what I did with this particular chapter that moved it from ‘working ok’ to being a much more powerful and impactful version of itself. (Fingers crossed, one day you might be able to read it for yourself!) So, what did I do?
First of all, I read the chapter through and got a sense of what was working well. I liked the opening line, which was insightful and emotional and drew us in. I liked the content of the plot – it moved us on a beat, drew some story threads together, and got us to where we wanted to be at the end. And I liked the closing line. But it still felt a bit too functional.
I looked at a way of making the chapter more engaging. It was a little bit this-happened-and-then-that-happened-then-that-happened, and it just lacked energy. The previous draft was written in quite a hurry due to time pressures – I had to whizz through getting the main points across. So now I went back to the character whose point of view it was (this story has multiple POVs) and reconnected a little bit. What are they experiencing emotionally during this chapter as well as physically? It’s not just about what’s happening in a chapter, it’s about what people are feeling. And yes, the emotion was there, but it was hurried. I needed to linger and let the character really feel all they had to feel. I probed a little deeper, slowed down a little, and connected emotions with events more carefully. I chose more explorative and more character-specific phrases which created more authenticity. Instantly more satisfying.
I looked at the action. I realised a lot of it was reported action – again, a sign (in my writing, at least) that something has been written in a hurry. Instead of it being so reported, I made the action more direct and active. This brought it back to the present and instantly made it more engaging. I felt closer to my character and followed her more intently.
The structure of the chapter was technically fine and did all it needed to do, but it didn’t have enough tension, so I built it up in two ways:
1) Character goals
In the first version, the events all rolled out beautifully, but my character’s goals weren’t brought into focus enough. I’d got the ‘how’ it was all happening but not enough ‘why’. Getting her goals into clearer focus meant I could build on the tension as she worked towards them and bring in the frustrations to achieving that goal throughout the chapters. I raised a clearer question at the start of the chapter related to my character’s goal, and it was clearly answered by the chapter’s end. (NB: All the characters in the chapter have their own goals, so these were also woven through a little bit more neatly).
2) Hooks
I used hooks in two different ways – hooks for the character as she engaged with chasing her goal, and hooks for the reader to keep the energy high during the chapter. Hooks included asking mini-questions along the way, and having mini-goals, adding moments of suspense – pausing at dramatic moments to savour that wait at the top of the rollercoaster before...
.
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down you go, emotional revelations, and some fun and surprising character interactions along the way.
Finally, I leant into the world a little more and as I tweaked the words and language in the chapter, I brought in more setting, which brought colour and context. This made the chapter feel more alive and more specific to this particular book.
All this meant it went from being a bit of mediocre chapter to probably being one of my favourites. Chapters will need different things when you edit, so a checklist doesn’t always necessarily work, but ask yourself what you need from this chapter, particularly in terms of plot, character and theme.
Hope this is helpful!
CHARACTER CORNER
Try to avoid repeating bland generic phrases or actions across all your characters all of the time. Can a certain mannerism, verbal expression or type of body language be reserved for one particular character? If you do this, make sure it is character-consistent – there’s no point your shy character always putting her hands on her hips (unless you are deliberately using this expression to draw the attention to the severity of the situation or how it has drawn something out of your character).
There will be occasions when generic phrases are used, for example, although there are various ways of sitting down in a chair (flopping, lowering, perching on the edge), sometimes you character just wants to sit down. Thinking carefully about how phrases relate to different characters can subtly enhance characterisation and tell us something not only about the character’s personality, but also their interpretation about and response to the environment that they are in.
TEACHING
Tickets are now available for these sessions:
Writing Chapter Books (6 weeks) – Tues 3rd September – Tues 15th October (Tues 17th September week off)
Tickets on Eventbrite here
NEW! Top 10 Brilliant Character Hacks (2 weeks) – Thurs 5th & Thurs 12th September
Tickets on Eventbrite here
Still coming up...
Dealing with Dialogue (2 weeks) – Weds 25th September & Weds 2nd October
What’s the Story? Everything You Need To Know To Nail Your Story (2 weeks) – Weds 9th & 16th October
There will also be some extra sessions announced later, including my sell-out ‘Level Up’- a game-changing, three-week course about getting the most out of yourself as a writer; and my 6-week ‘Writing Middle Grade Books’ course. I will also be re-running the 'Emotional Connection course', so keep an eye open.
I’ve also had several requests to run my ‘Fabulous Villains’ three-session course. I’m not sure at the moment whether it will run over three weeks or whether I’ll run it on a Saturday or Sunday but keep your eyes open if you’re interested in how to develop your antagonist into a fabulous character. This is one of my favourite courses! I love writing antagonists, so I need very little persuasion to run it again!
As always, please do get in touch if there’s an area of writing craft, you’re keen to explore and if I don’t already have a course on it, I’ll put one together!
COMPETITIONS
FREE COACHING COMPETITION
For those of you who are new to this, as a thank you for subscribing to the newsletter and to help coaching become accessible to all, I offer a FREE 30-minute coaching session over Zoom (worth £30 – no strings attached) via a lucky draw every newsletter, for anyone who would like to take part.
For more on the coaching sessions, please see my Coaching page.
If you would like to enter, please email comps@storygodmother.co.uk with COACHING 25.8.24 in the subject line and you will be entered into the draw. All entries must be received by the Wednesday after the newsletter is sent out. So, in this case, please get your entries in by Wednesday 28th August 23:59BST.
I will contact the lucky winner directly, so if you haven’t heard anything, please assume you’ve not won this time, but please do try again next time! If you’ve already won a free coaching competition, please can you refrain from entering again this year to give other people a chance to win.
WRITING MAGAZINE CHILDREN'S BOOK PRIZE
The submission window for this opens a week today and remains open until 31st October! We are very much looking forward to reading your entries. A reminder that it is the WHOLE manuscript for the chapter book which is required, and no longer just the opening chapter.
Although this has been running for many years now, I cannot tell you how excited I get every autumn. This truly is one of the highlights of my writing year. There will be brief feedback for longlisted and shortlisted entrants as well, to help give you more insight into the strengths and weaknesses of your story. Good luck if you’re entering!
SOCIAL MEDIA
I’ve been away from social media a bit due to other responsibilities, but I have now joined Threads, for those of you on there: Amy Sparkes (@sparkes_amy) on Threads. I’m yet to really get going on it as I reeeeeeally want to finish this novel this weekend, but I hope to be more active soon.
Twitter is definitely a thing of the past for me, so I won’t be posting any more updates on there.
I’m still on:
Instagram
Threads
Facebook
The Story Godmother Facebook group (great for connecting and talking more personally as it’s a closed group – if you want to chat and ask questions, this is the place to be)
BlueSky
Mastodon
Linkedin
END NOTES
If you’ve found this newsletter helpful, please do spread the word to other writers you know – the more, the merrier!
Thanks for reading. I’m off to edit another chapter! Speak to you later in the autumn. Happy writing.
Story Godmother
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