Three game-changing qualities for influence.
"You can't give people what you don't have."
Those words might sound simple, and familiar. But if you put pen to paper and really meditate on them for a minute you can figure out where you’re faking it and what you really have to give.
Stop right now and ask yourself:
What am I trying to give away that I don’t have? Why? Be specific.
What am I holding back that I have to give? Why? Be specific.
Finally, ask yourself, what emotion is driving both of these scenarios?
I bring this little exercise to you attention, because there are three things every person on the planet can freely give: humility, presence, and curiosity.
These three have kept me grounded, intentional, and influential wherever I go.
Let me explain. Humility first. This isn’t about self-deprecation; it’s about recognizing your own limits and strengths.
Humility means not pretending to be more than you are.
Humility means making room for others.
Humility means not taking yourself too seriously.
You see, when we keep our feet firmly on the ground and stay in our lane, we’re not only being honest with ourselves but also with others. Humility lets us offer what we truly have in the moment, creating a genuine connection based on authenticity rather than pretense.
If you find yourself trying too hard, or exaggerating, you’re not being humble. Your ego is in the driver’s seat. It’s always better to listen and observe, than to blow smoke up someone’s ass.
So relax. Be yourself. And, keep your feet on the ground.
Then there’s presence. In our hyper-distracted world, being present is a superpower.
True story.
Presence means truly being there, in the moment, with the person right in front of you. Forget about your phone, your to-do list, or what’s happening tomorrow.
Give your undivided attention.
It’s so rare these days that you’ll instantly be more likable and connected.
Which deep down is what all of us want: belonging.
Someone to see us. Hear us. Know us. Feel us.
That’s what happens when we’re fully engaged, we’re showing the other person that they matter, that their words and feelings are important to us. This kind of focus not only builds deeper relationships it bonds us together.
Curiosity ties it all together.
Let me explain.
Curiosity is the drive to understand, to explore, to never stop learning. When you approach life with curiosity, you’re truly open to new perspectives and ideas.
Too many people are closed these days. Like they’ve hung a sign on the door to their hearts and minds: Closed for business.
Curiosity is like dynamite, blowing up any internal barriers in us and knocking down walls in others.
When we ask questions and genuinely listen to the answers, people lean in. This openness not only expands our own horizons but also shows others that we value their experiences and insights. Curiosity turns every interaction into an opportunity for growth and shared learning.
These qualities — humility, presence, and curiosity — are like muscles. We have to work on them for them to grow.
Here’s the kicker: you can’t fake them.
If you don’t take the time to cultivate them within yourself, you’ll have nothing to offer others.
Lack humility, and you’ll come across as arrogant.
Lack presence, and you’ll seem distracted or disinterested.
Lack curiosity, and you’ll appear indifferent or dismissive.
I’m not trying to preach perfection. Or beat you up. I’m simply giving you my little playbook for increasing your influence and impacting others in a positive way on the daily.
Think about it this way, investing in your personal growth isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
Why?
Because the more you understand and develop yourself, the more you can give to others.
So take a moment and go back to the first three questions in the top of the post. Confront your shortcomings and work on them.
When you build these qualities within yourself, you become a source of real value for others. Your interactions will instantly become richer, your relationships deeper, and your impact greater.
Try it out today and see for yourself.
Just remember: "You can't give people what you don't have."
Hide these eight words in your heart.
Strive to be humble, to stay present, and to remain curious.
These are the keys to not only enriching your own life but also profoundly touching the lives of those around you.
Here’s to living present and aware.
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Steve Knox | Austin, Texas
/// Like what you read? Help others find it. Forward, share, or print this off and paper airplane it around the office. It’s a conversation worth having with ourselves, and with others. Thanks for reading, as always! Be honest. Be you. Much love amigo.