The War Within.
In his best-selling book, Stage II Recovery, addiction counselor and pioneering author Earnie Larson describes recovery as nothing less than a civil war within ourselves.
This concept of a civil war might sound a bit dramatic, but it perfectly captures the intense, ongoing struggle we face if we want to grow up and reach our full potential.
Going to war with ourselves isn’t about creating chaos or a call to personal violence. Lord knows we’ve been hard enough on ourselves already.
No.
Going to war with ourselves is about waging a focused and deliberate battle against anything and everything inside of us that is holding us back.
To win this unseen battle, we must first know our enemies.
You know, the self-doubt, bad habits, well-rehearsed excuses, long carried fears, that old bastard procrastination, and the sly devil: self-deception.
Self-doubt whispers that we’re not enough, paralyzing us right when we need to move forward. It’s where we get stuck in self. Self-pity. Self-ishness. Self-centeredness. You get my point.
Bad habits are those ingrained behaviors that keep us repeating the same old stinking patterns of behavior—whether it's unhealthy routines or the negative stories we keep telling ourselves. Those old tapes need to be destroyed. And, we need to find a new path to take so we can free ourselves from those old ways of thinking and living.
Excuses provide us with circular justifications to stay within our comfort zones, preventing growth. Circular reasoning and an unwillingness to accept criticism are sure signs we’re in love with our well-rehearsed excuses. Which in reality are just verbalized fears.
Speaking of fears—whether they’re about failure, rejection, the unknown, and even success—these irrational projections dictate our actions, and more often, our inactions. Paralyzing us again from becoming who and what we’re capable of being.
Procrastination is the art of delaying what’s really important, driven by fear or a lack of motivation to change. I’ve beat this drum a lot recently. The way forward is to simply take action. Again. And, again. In small ways.
And self-deception? That’s the subtle bullshit and defensiveness we employ to avoid confronting uncomfortable truths. We love lying to ourselves. It protects us from having to look ourselves in the mirror.
True story.
So here are 20 questions that can help all of us take that hard look in the mirror:
What are the internal battles I am currently fighting within myself?
What self-doubts are holding me back from reaching my full potential?
What bad habits have I developed that are preventing my growth?
How often do I use excuses to stay within my comfort zone, and what fears do these excuses mask?
What specific fears (failure, rejection, success) are influencing my actions or inactions?
How does procrastination manifest in my life, and what important tasks am I putting off?
In what ways do I deceive myself to avoid facing uncomfortable truths?
What am I currently avoiding that I need to confront to move forward?
How am I caring for my body, and what changes can I make to strengthen it further?
How can I incorporate regular movement, sleep, and nutrition into my daily routine to support my physical health?
What practices help me quiet my mind, and how consistently am I engaging in them?
How often do I nourish my soul, and what activities bring me joy, fulfillment, or a sense of purpose?
What small, consistent actions can I take daily to make progress in my internal battles?
How can I practice more compassion toward myself, especially when I encounter flaws or make mistakes?
What fears do I need to face to build my confidence, and how can I start doing so today?
How can I cultivate more courage in my life, especially when I experience failure?
When was the last time I took a strategic retreat to reflect, recover, recharge, and regroup?
How can I celebrate small wins to build momentum and stay motivated in my journey?
Who are my "patron saints"—the people who support and inspire me in my personal battles?
What sacrifices, disciplines, and acts of courage do I need to embrace to achieve true freedom in my life?
You see my friend, progress isn’t a straight line, and the path to self-improvement is not for the faint of heart.
I can guarantee you that.
But with honesty, clarity, and the support of our patron saints, we can win the internal civil war that leads to our true freedom.
Freedom isn’t free—it demands sacrifice, discipline, and the courage to take that hard look in the mirror. And, keep going.
We’re worth it.
Don’t you think?
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Steve Knox | Backroads of Texas
/// Thanks as always for reading. Not pulling any punches today. A bit gritty. But, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I hope this gives you pause. Makes you look inside. And, in the mirror. Have the courage to forward this to a friend or two who needs a bit of inspo today. Be honest. Be you.