Patterns tell the story.
We repeat what we don’t repair.
Every leader I know has blind spots. Patterns they’ve built over time. Some of them help us survive. Some even help us succeed.
But, the same patterns that once served us can also be the very things holding us back now.
I’ll be straight with you. For me, that pattern has always been control.
I learned early that if I took charge, things got done. If I carried more, the ball didn’t get dropped. If I pushed harder, results showed up. And, in the beginning, it worked. People saw me as decisive, strong, capable. But, over time, control turned into a cage. Because the more I tried to hold everything together, the more it fell apart.
Maybe you’ve got your own version. Over-functioning when things get tense. Avoiding conflict until it explodes. Hiring people who feel safe instead of people who will stretch you.
We all have patterns. Mine was control. Yours might be something different. But the result is the same.
You tell yourself it’s just who you are. That you’ve always led this way. But, that’s the point. You’ve always led this way. And, the results you’re getting are directly tied to the patterns you keep repeating.
Here’s the hard truth: you can’t outwork a blind spot.
You can grind harder. You can push longer. You can even achieve more. But, eventually, the pattern you refuse to name will cost you.
For me, control cost me trust. It cost me rest. It cost me the joy of leading with freedom instead of fear. For you, it might be something else. But, the price always comes due.
I’ve seen it in others, too. Leaders who are brilliant on paper but stuck in practice. They build their entire style around avoiding pain instead of facing it.
So the same issues keep showing up in new disguises. Different employee, same drama. Different quarter, same mess. Different relationship, same resentment.
And, deep down, you know what your pattern is.
You may not say it out loud, but you feel it in your gut. The place you’re avoiding. The conversation you keep delaying. The behavior you know isn’t helping but you justify anyway. That’s your blind spot.
The danger isn’t just that you have one. The danger is pretending you don’t.
Because the longer you deny it, the more power it has. Blind spots don’t go away with time. They grow. They get more expensive. They get more complicated. What starts as a small frustration becomes a breakdown. What could have been handled with one hard conversation turns into a full-blown culture issue.
We repeat what we don’t repair.
And, repair starts with naming the pattern.
For me, it meant owning the fact that control wasn’t strength, it was fear. It meant admitting that my need to hold everything together was actually holding others back. It meant facing the reality that if I didn’t deal with it, I was going to be the ceiling on the growth of my business, my family and my future.
That’s the uncomfortable work most leaders avoid. They’re too busy. Too successful. Too addicted to their own story of how things are. So they keep repeating what’s familiar and convincing themselves it’s just reality.
But, here’s what I’ve learned: the moment you name the pattern, you break its power.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. You start catching yourself in real time. You start choosing differently. And, those small shifts compound faster than you think.
This is where coaching matters.
Not because you don’t know what to do, but because you don’t always see what you’re doing. You need someone outside the pattern to help you see it clearly. To ask the questions you won’t ask yourself. To hold up the mirror you’ve been avoiding.
It’s not about advice. It’s about awareness.
Because once you see it, you can own it. Once you own it, you can change it. And, once you change it, the future stops looking like the past.
So here’s the question: What’s the pattern that keeps running your life and leadership on repeat?
For me, it was control. For you, it might be something else. But, if you don’t repair it, you’ll keep repeating it.
And, the cost isn’t just yours. It shows up in your team. In your culture. In the future you say you want but can’t seem to reach.
We repeat what we don’t repair. So what’s the pattern you’re finally ready to face?
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Steve Knox | Carmel, CA
\\\ Thanks for reading. I hope this post causes you pause to examine your patterns. To break the unhealthiest one. Do your people a solid and share this with them as well. Sharing is caring. Be honest. Be you. And, much love.