Be the Solution.
I’ve been coming back to this mantra a lot lately: “Be the solution, not the problem.”
Not because I’ve nailed it, honestly, it’s the opposite.
I’ve had a few moments recently where I realized I was making things messier, not clearer. Saying too much. Pushing too hard. Reacting instead of responding.
Maybe, you can relate?
It didn’t come from a fancy book or leadership seminar. It came from a trusted mentor in my life.
When I heard it, I had to stop and ask myself, “Wait. Am I actually helping here, or am I part of the problem?”
And, that question? It’s been saving me.
We all say we want to help. We want to be good leaders, good friends, good partners, good teammates, good parents.
But, sometimes, in the middle of the action, when tensions are up and everyone’s looking for answers, it’s easy to step in with the wrong kind of energy.
We want to be useful, but we come in hot. We want to solve something, but we end up hijacking the moment.
So now I use this phrase like a mental filter. A quick gut-check before I open my mouth or jump in with advice or ol’ Steverino’s “one quick thought.”
I ask: Am I genuinely trying to serve, or do I just want to be right?
It’s not always a pretty answer.
But, it helps. It keeps me honest. Because “being the solution” isn’t about being the smartest person in the room. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about owning your presence. Your tone. Your energy. Your impact.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Especially, for people like me who like to fix everything.
Sometimes “being the solution” turns into being the hero.
We swoop in. We rescue. We over-function.
And, what starts as support becomes control. I’ve done it. With clients, with my friends, with my family. And, it usually sounds like, “Let me just help you real quick.” when really I’m saying, “Let me do it my way so I can feel better.”
That’s not solution energy. That’s ego in a disguise. And, it’s tiring, for everyone.
So I’ve been leaning into what it really means to be a solution.
Sometimes it’s speaking up with clarity. Sometimes it’s shutting up and letting the moment breathe. Sometimes it’s offering structure. Sometimes it’s offering silence. Sometimes it’s asking a better question instead of giving a fast answer. Sometimes it’s just sitting next to someone and not trying to fix them.
I’m not writing this because I’ve figured it out. I’m writing it because I need the reminder.
Because my default mode is “go.” But, what I’m practicing is presence. The kind that slows down, pays attention, and doesn’t need to be the star of the show. The kind that makes space for others to grow, struggle, lead, and learn.
And, yes my friend, I still get it wrong. But, I’m learning to own it when I do.
No drama, no defensiveness. Just: “Hey, I messed that up. Let me try again.”
That’s part of being the solution, too.
If this hits home for you, try using this mantra as your filter. Write it down. Stick it somewhere visible. Let it catch you before you jump in. Let it nudge you back to presence when the stakes feel high.
And, remember: no one’s asking you to be perfect.
They just want you to be real. Steady. Honest. Human. You.
That’s the kind of solution we all need more of.
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Steve Knox | Kansas City
\\\ Before you go, forward and share this with your circle of amigos. And, don’t forget: you can restart your day at any point. Until next week. Be honest. Be you. Much love.