Audit Your Peeps.
I don’t know who first said it, but I’ve heard it dozens of times in conferences, workshops and podcasts over the years: Tending. Mending. Ending.
Some relationships need tending.
Some need mending.
And, some need ending.
It’s a simple framework. But, it asks a lot of us.
It asks us to be honest.
It asks us to be brave.
It asks us to lead with love, even when that means letting go.
Because relationships shape us.
The ones we lean into, the ones we carry, and, yes, even the ones we release. Which is probably the hardest part of this little trifecta.
True story.
There are indeed some necessary endings (thank you very much Henry Cloud) that we just have to make if we hope to make the most of the season we’re in.
So here’s the invitation today, amigo: Take inventory. Journal through today’s post. And, then take immediate action.
But before we start. Slow down. Take a couple of deep breaths. Grab a pen and paper. And, really answer these questions. To the best of your ability.
TENDING
Some people just need more of you. More of your time. More of your voice. More of your presence. You know, that feeling that, nothing’s wrong. But, it’s just been too quiet for too long.
> Who matters to me but hasn’t heard from me lately?
> What relationships bring me life that I’ve let slip into the background?
> What’s one small way I can show up for someone this week?
Tending is love on purpose. Small things on the regular. Intentional actions on your part. After all, what we nurture grows. What we ignore, drifts and eventually dies.
MENDING
This one takes courage. It’s about wounds. Sometimes deep ones. But mending isn’t about fixing everything. Nope. It’s about choosing wholeness where you can.
> Where do I feel tension, distance, or regret?
> What conversation am I avoiding. Why?
> What would healing look like here, even if it’s just in me?
Mending doesn’t always restore the relationship. But it frees your heart to breathe again. And, reveals to you what you can take care of on your side of the street.
ENDING
Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some are just for a reason or a season. Some are out of alignment with who you’re becoming.
If I’ve learned anything these past 19 months it’s that letting go can be an act of love, for them and for you.
> What relationship feels more like a weight than a gift?
> What am I afraid will happen if I let go?
> What would it look like to end this with clarity and kindness?
Ending is not abandonment. It’s alignment. Choosing to course-correct and let go of relationships that are no longer mutually beneficial or life-giving.
One final question: Who are you becoming? And, who’s walking with you on that road?
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If this stirred something in you, don’t just journal through it.
Sit with it.
Talk it out.
Walk it forward.
The beautiful folks in your life deserve honesty and intentionality.
And, so do you. My friend. So do you.
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Steve Knox | Southwestern Coast of Mexico
\\\ Thanks as always for reading. This one is meant to haunt you in a good way. I hope it brought up some faces from your past, present and future. This life is about relationships. Lean in, love deeply, and let go. Until next week. Much love. Be honest. Be you.