NMN April 2025 - So Full. So Filled.
The usual updates, plus my thoughts on this summer's three Black Widow movies.
If you are a friend or relative who subscribes to my newsletter for quick and pithy personal updates, I assure you, all the usual NMN features are here. Feel free to scroll down to see what Duolingo has cooked up this month. I will not be offended. Indeed, as long as you do not tell me, I will never know.
For the rest of you, buckle up, because things are about to get very, very geeky.
I am a Black Widow fan. In 2021, I wrote an entire essay titled: "Waiting for Natasha: or How The Pandemic Turned the Black Widow into my White Whale," in which I chronicled my journey as I attempted to manage my expectations before Black Widow came out in theaters following more than a year of pandemic delays.
Black Widow the movie was the 24th film released in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Given that it was coming out two films after Black Widow the character had been killed in Avengers: Endgame, it didn’t exactly scream, “Movie that Marvel is putting a lot of chips on.” At the time, managing expectations seemed like the only reasonable thing to do.
But this summer, I have no such qualms. Indeed, even now, with everything that is happening in this, the year of our lord 2025, I am filled with excitement. Why?
Because this summer we have not one, not two, but three Black Widow movies to look forward to.
What's that? You were unaware? Allow me to elaborate:
Exhibit A, coming out this very weekend, we have Thunderbolts*. What does the * indicate? Officially? Unclear. Unofficially, I choose to believe that somewhere, on some poster, in very small type, is printed: “*aka, Black Widow 2.”
Let's examine the evidence. Thunderbolts* is a super-hero team-up film where the team consists of:
Yelena Belova, aka: Natasha's [let’s just say] little sister who was introduced in Black Widow and who has been trying to avenge Natasha in her every MCU appearance since.
Red Guardian, aka Alexei Shostakov, aka Natasha's fake-dad whose only MCU appearance so far was in Black Widow.
Taskmaster, aka Antonia Dreykov, aka Dreykov's Daughter, who Loki references way back in the first Avengers movie in response to Natasha’s “red in my ledger” speech, but who first appeared on-screen in (you guessed it) Black Widow.
Plus Bucky Barns, long lost buddy of Steve "Captain America" Rogers, who it turns out was not dead, but had been brainwashed by Hydra into becoming the Winter Soldier. And how did we find that out? You can thank Natasha for putting the clues together in Captain America: The Winter Solider.
(Honestly, if I had been pitching this movie I would have argued that it should be in Russian with subtitles. Not a hill I would have died on, mind you, but I would have brought it up.)
And yes, there’s also U.S. Agent, aka John Walker, aka dime store Captain America, a man shaped by his government to be a killer and then cut loose when it turned into a PR problem; and Ghost, aka Ava Starr, aka the villain from Ant-Man and the Wasp, a young woman used under false pretenses as an assassin by immoral politicians.
No thematic parallels with them at all.
TL;DR: Thunderbolts* = Black Widow: The Sequel. Case Closed.
But Margaret, I hear you say, Scarlett Johansson is not in this movie. It's not a Black Widow movie if she's not in it.
You are entitled to this opinion. I believe it is wrong, but if ScarJo is your litmus test, I present to you:
Jurassic World Rebirth premieres July 2, starring Scarlett Johansson as "Zora Bennet," an operator hired to take idiots to an island full of dinosaurs that were deemed too dangerous for the original Jurassic Park, a vacation destination where guests are regularly eaten by velociraptors. Why?
The trailer has not made this entirely clear. Something about collecting DNA samples. Honestly, I haven’t done a ton of research. But look, clearly this (like the original Black Widow film) is meant to fill-in an earlier point in MCU continuity. Because there's no way Natasha spent the entirety of the blip fielding emails from raccoons and throwing peanut butter sandwiches at Steve Rogers' head. No, she went undercover with that nice serviceman from The 4400 (who probably knew Steve back in the day) to hunt dinosaurs and facilitate poetic justice upon rich weirdos with more money than sense.
TL;DR: Jurassic World Rebirth = Black Widow Dinosaur Hunter. ‘Nuff said.
Oh, what’s that? You think Scarlett Johansson is not playing Natasha Romanov under cover every time she appears on film? Pshaw!
Next you're going to tell me that Natalie Morales isn't always playing Wendy Watson on covert assignment. Catch up!
But okay, fine. Let's say for the sake of argument that a Black Widow movie isn't a Black Widow movie if it doesn't involve a Russian girl trained from a young age in the arts of ballet and murder using her skills to bring justice upon people even more morally compromised than herself.
In that case, allow me to present:
Coming June 6th, from the World of John Wick: Ballerina. In which Ana de Armas plays a Russian assassin trained from girlhood in the arts of ballet and murder, who now sets out to avenge her father’s death.
Happy now?
TL;DR (really this time, I mean it): It took thirteen years and twenty three MCU films before we got the first Black Widow movie, and now look at all this. Maybe there was more pent-up demand than Marvel wanted to admit.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
(And if anyone from Smartypants is reading this, I also have a compelling presentation entitled: Daredevil Season 1: I Have Questions: or Karen Page Straight Up Murdered a Dude. Hit me up.)
And with that, on to the news!
From My Desk
I'm still working! I still can't tell you on what!
What I'm Reading and Watching
Tomorrow, I'm going to see Thunderbolts,* but two nights ago I saw Sinners, written and directed by Ryan Coogler. You've probably heard about this movie, as word-of-mouth is through the proverbial roof. I went to see it on a Monday night and the theater was nearly full.
This caused me to realize how strange it is to see a movie in a theater full of people who don't go to movies very often. I'm glad folks are coming out, don't get me wrong. It's a great movie, and deserves to be seen. That said, I felt a bit like an alcoholic who complains about drunk drivers on New Year's Eve. It's weird to see amateurs fumbling through something you do on a semi-professional basis.
But go see Sinners, a movie about music, the quest for freedom, and the demons those can summon if you aren't careful.
For demons of a different kind, my book group has been working our way through The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. It's very good, but also reminds me of reading Neil Stephenson or the Marquis de Sade: anything resembling a plot or character is likely to transform at any moment into a philosophical declamation.
From the Cutting Room Floor of the Duolingo Dystopia
And That's the Nearly Monthly News!
Pfew, we made it through another month and to the end of this newsletter! (Neither one a trivial feat.) Congratulations to all! Questions? Comments? Triumphs to share? Drop me a line! Otherwise, I'll see you next time.