Poem #7 Identity Lost and Found

Now, the titles are gone,
the calendar is mine to shape,
I stand at the edge of a quiet, vast beginning—
not a closure, but a wide open next.

There is time—precious time—
to follow what I love,
to let passion guide purpose,
to create something meaningful and new.

No more racing.
Now I listen in the stillness—
to the hum of longing,
to what now calls my spirit forward?

My passions haven't dimmed—
they burn more quietly now,
but with more wisdom, more truth.

I believe in what touches the heart—
and sacred space still stirs my soul

in comfort offered, beauty created,
and the long, slow work of righting what’s wrong.

These are my compass points—
reminders of who I am,
and who I am becoming.

So, I name what matters most—
not to conquer, but to live it.
beauty, kindness, and connection.
To begin again, fully alive.

Reflection # 7. Identity Lost and Found

“Dare to declare who you are.” —Hildegard of Bingen

I don’t think anything hurt me more upon retirement than losing the professional status I’d held for years. There is no way to convey what it is like when a part of your life and identity dies but life goes on. There is no way to truly grasp what you are when you outlive the life you expected to have and find yourself in a kind of next life.

We experience loss as we age and with each new decade, we shed pieces of our identity. When I was younger there was always a new identity to take on for those that had passed. New opportunities and fresh chances came naturally. When I left home for college, I lost my identity as a child. When I left college and the dorm and moved into married life, I lost my identity as a single woman and student. One identity passed and another took its place. It was a natural progression in life’s stages. I have also lost pieces of my identity through injury and health conditions. I lost work identities each time I was passed over for a promotion or fired. I have friends whose losses pertain to their financial identity. They lost money or their home or discovered their investment was not worth what they’d hoped. Still, others like most of us, have lost a friend, a relative, or a longtime relationship.

I’ve spoken with others and have decided that although we all have different journeys when it comes to identity, we are all very similar. Loss of identity is one of the hardest to deal with. The truth is, when we get to the other side of the hill, in the final chapters, the world doesn’t hand us a new identity anymore. We have to create it for ourselves. It is more up to us. We have to sort out what parts of our life can stay and what should go.

We ask, “Who am I beyond the functions I’ve served?” “Who am I when the daily habits of each day are stripped away?” “Who am I beyond the persona I’ve presented to the world and myself?” “Who am I laid bare” “Can I let go of old narratives that no longer fit.” Perhaps they never did.

“Who am I?”

Now it’s your turn

Take time to reflect and if in a group, share as you feel able.

What I find most difficult is:

a)    the loss of my work identity.

b)    sorting out what parts of my life can stay and what should go.

c)    shedding pieces of my identity that no longer fit.

d)    creating a new identity for myself.