Reflection # 49 My Body
The Gap Year
“Dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech. The path is not long, but the way is deep. You must not only walk there, you must be prepared to leap.” ―Hildegard of Bingen
Yesterday, a long-time friend told me that I looked exactly the same. No, I don’t. But I still enjoyed the compliment. As a woman of a certain age, I am aware that I am expected to take care of myself much more carefully than men of the same age. Most times, I don’t mind. Other times, it seems a bit much.
When I was thirteen, I longed to look like Twiggy, a prominent British teen model of the 60’s with her stick figure, long lashes, and pixy cut hair. I studied the cover of my teen magazine for clues on how to achieve her look – to no avail. Today I see Jane Fonda, Oprah, and other aging women who appear on television and in the movies. All are affluent; of a different social class who can afford injections and implants. And now they are slimming down with the latest (expensive) weight loss drug.
Body image is another thing. I can still recall walking in on a group of boys at college who were in the midst of rating girls. It still stings when I recall them saying, “You’d be really pretty if it wasn’t for your nose.” Indeed, my nose was not of the idealized contemporary fashion. I tried to brush it off. But my nose was me. It hurt.
Last summer, at the community pool a neighbor asked if I’d always been thin. I don’t think of myself as thin. No, I assured her, my weight has gone up and down through the years. During menopause, I carried an extra thirty pounds. I assured her that she looked just fine in her swimsuit. She did.
Today, now older, and wiser, we are not so much centered on how we look but more so on our health. Knowing that self-care of our body directly affects our relationships with both us and others, we work to maintain our health. We eat properly, walk, and stretch daily, get seven to eight hours of sleep each night, keep intellectually active and curious, and socially engaged. Hopefully, we’ve never smoked. But, that glass of wine sure tastes good to wind down at the end of the day. We count calories and weigh ourselves each week to keep ourselves accountable only to ourselves-- and no one else.
No, I don’t look like I did when I was younger. That’s okay. I look like I should as a woman at my age… and that’s how it is.
Now it’s your turn.
Take time to reflect and, if in a group, share as you feel able.
Today I:
a) am more concerned with my health than how I look.
b) know that self-care affects my relationship with myself and others.
c) eat properly, walk and stretch daily, and get seven to eight hours of sleep.
d) remain accountable for my food consumption, weight and health.
(Photo is of my friend Debra and me enjoying ice cream.)