Reflection #48 Death and Love
Life Transitions (The Gap Year)
“Love that does not know of suffering is not worthy of the name.” –Clare of Assisi
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve not yet written about death. That’s because aging, retirement, and death are not synonymous. Death can appear at any age. Growing older is truly a blessing. Of course, I’m conscious that I’m drawing closer to the end stage of life. This is significant in that I have many years behind me as well as all the days ahead. And I believe there are many.
I was young when my husband died. I was twenty-five. He was twenty-nine. So I am perfectly aware of death’s proximity. Each time I recall sitting with a patient who was dying, or now officiate at a burial, I am reminded that any one breath could be my last. One day it will be and I want to live so I’m ready. So that I have no fear. I hope that when the time comes, I will rest and close my eyes in gratitude and quiet.
For now, these later years are a gift and not a burden. Life is not about how old we are, or the number of years we eke out. It is about living into the possibilities offered at every stage of life. To embrace the blessings of this time is the spiritual task of later life. It is a special time of life. Perhaps the most special of all. Our spiritual obligation is to age well – and perhaps others will have the spiritual depth and courage to do the same.
I spoke with my grandmother Ada days before her death. She spoke calmly of her belief that she was going home to God. We knew it would be our last talk. Her final words were, “Tricia, love one another”. She repeated it three times. Her own life’s lessons boiled down to this one simple truth.
A simple phrase: Love One Another. I felt stunned as I hung up the receiver. Could I embody these three words, love one another, in each moment of my life? Would this mantra of sorts focus me to be the woman I wished to be? Could this simple phrase, if fully lived by each of us, make life on this planet radically different? Is it the key to our own awareness beyond self? To be liberated and awakened so that we can choose how we wish to live as a person of love.
Singer-songwriter, Joan Baez, wisely said, “You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now!”
Now it’s your turn.
Take time to reflect and, if in a group, share as you feel able.
I feel that:
a) growing older is truly a blessing.
b) I want to live so I’m ready and have no fear of death.
c) aging well, perhaps others will have the courage to do the same.
d) I wish to embody the mantra “Love one another”.
Footnote: Peggy Anderson, comp., Great Quotes from Great Women (Lombard, ILL.; Celebrating Excellence, 1992), 3.